Remember how I broke your heart
by tashalem
Summary: Nervous Liberian Eponine gets tangled up in the world of troubled rich boy Enjolras when he stumbles into her little book shop one rainy afternoon...
1. Chapter 1

**AN: it feels like awhile but I've got a few things lined up, I've started working on the dark fic I mentioned at the end of my **_**A heart full of love **_**story and that will be up shortly, anyway meanwhile I just wanted to try something out, so this won't be too long, tell me what you guys think I'd really appreciate anyway here we go**.

Chapter one: little mermaid

It was sheer boredom that had dragged Enjolras from his expensive home in the upscale part of town, boredom that had him walking along the shady part of town, but it was the rain that had ushered him into a quiet little bookshop on the edge of the street. And it was the dodgy lightening that had him bumping into the petite librarian with the bright brown eyes and dark wavy hair, who smelt like old books and lavender, a librarian with rosy cheeks and very sad smile.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to…" a quiet voice stuttered as nimble hands bent down and started picking up the scattered books.

"It was my fault", at the sound of the deep and velvety voice large brown eyes gazed up, getting slightly lost in a sea of blue, soft lips parted but nothing came out, both straightening out they continued their staring match for a few seconds longer. The librarian placed the books on the side and gazed at the young man curiously taking in his soaked body the way shirt pressed against his chest, leaving his strawberry blonde waves matted against his face.

"You're wet", she said simply, and he smiled tilting his head to the side.

"It's raining" he replied with a shrug that sprinkled water everywhere.

"Oh right", she said embarrassed and then she turned on her heel and retreated to a back room, emerging a moment later with some paper towels which he gladly took.

"Thank you", he said, as he began dabbing the nervous young women simply nodded, before she scuttled away and began putting books backs on the shelf. At the same time the young began walking up and down the aisles, basically following her whilst pretending to browse. A miscalculated turn lead him into a full body collision with the subject of his blatant stalking, who blinked and stumbled back in surprise.

"Enjolras", he said to the startled young woman

"Excuse me?", she confusion evident in her voice,

"My name is Enjolras and you are…" he waited watching as a million warring thoughts flickered across her eyes, before she gazed back at him.

"Eponine", she said slowly watching as his face broke into a smile, which to both their surprise she found herself imitating.

"Eponine", he breathed and then he turned and walked out of the library, leaving the librarian to watch his retreating back, a mixture of curiosity and disappointment swirling in her bright brown eyes.

It had been 4 days 10 hours and 15 minutes since Eponine had met Enjolras, and she was already craving his blue eyes.

On the fifth day she came out of the back to find him leaning against her desk. He turned to face her as she made her way towards her workstation.

"Did you miss me", he asked simply, Eponine looked away for a moment before meeting his gaze

"Did… did you need something", she asked nervously.

"Yes... I am looking for something",

"What"

"A book"

"What kind of book"

"Love", he simply stated.

"love ?", Eponine echoed as Enjorlas leant closer, so close he can see how long her dark lashes really are, so close he can feel the gentle way she breathed, so close he can smell a faint scent of lavender, mahogany mixed in with a little bit of dust.

"You'll need to be more specific"

"New love, love at first sight, a fairy-tale like, tragic sort of love… do you have something like that?" there was a short pause as Eponine racked her brain.

"We do.." coming round the desk Eponine went to a far off shelf and took out a dusty book, slowly walking back, she hands it to Enjolras who glances down. Hans Christian Anderson's little Mermaid, he glances back up at Eponine in confusion.

"What's this…it's a fairy-tale that's not tragic"

"It is tragic…this is the real story, the little mermaid you're thinking off is pretty dream made up by someone who wears rose-tinted glasses…read it again and you'll see how truly tragic it is", Enjolras stared at the Eponine who stared off, a far away look in those lonely eyes.

"Is that all?" she asked suddenly, Enjolras responded by placing his hand on top of the nervous Liberians head.

"For now my little mermaid", Eponine's face furrowed in confusion as Enjolras' hand slipped away.

"Little mermaid...I'd never want to be the little mermaid", the lightness in the Liberians voice had vanished.

"It's just a nickname, since this book is the first thing you've given to me, it seemed fitting", Eponine looked at him long and hard

"I wonder if you'll still call me that after you've read it", Eponine said as she turned away and headed back to her desk.

"who knows…anyway till next time", Enjolras smiled waving the book, Eponine nodded before getting back to cataloging the new stock.

It was only two days later that Enjolras returned seemingly sombre as he placed the book down on the desk.

"She died…the little mermaid died", he said slowly Eponine picked up the book brushing the cover gently.

"She chose love instead of death"

"Don't you mean life, love over life"

"No...Killing the prince that would've been death"

" it Doesn't make sense, she sacrificed so much, suffered so much pain, and in the end she's betrayed and disappears…who in the hell wants that kind of love"

"You did… a new love... love at first sight, a fairy-tale like tragic sort of love…that's what you asked for" Enjolras gazed at Eponine

"I guess I was wrong…I prefer the dream like rose-tinted version"

"Is there anything else you need", Enjorlas gazed at Eponine steadily.

"Just one thing",

"What", walking around the desk, Enjolras rested his hand on Eponine's shoulders.

" I'm sorry I called you the little mermarid...don't ever become the little mermaid, don't ever sacrifice anything"

"But isn't that what love's all about"

"Then don't fall in love", and there it was a small, silly thing, but utterly beautiful, a smile.

"That's silly, then what about you", Enjolras' hands slipped away again.

"me…I don't really believe in it…anyway I'll be back"

But he didn't for two weeks straight Enjolras didn't set foot in the little book shop on the corner of the street, although she would never admit Eponine would sometimes stand in the doorway looking out into the street searching for blue eyes.

In the back of a special car, carrying a case of valuable editions of collectable books Eponine was on her way to the house of one of the rich patrons that employed her boss to find rare books for them. He would normally do these trips but he'd fallen ill and had made her promise to deliver them herself.

Eponine stared as the car pulled up into a long driveway, watching the large gate slowly open and the colossal excuse for a house appeared, a temple sized structure, slowly she stepped out of the car as a man led her into a private study room that opened up into small library where she was made to wait. She placed the case down as she gazed at the extraordinary array of collectable books carefully stored.

"They're marvelous aren't they…there hasn't been a book I've wanted that Maurice hasn't been able to find", a gruff voice startled Eponine she turned to meet a white haired old man, who still looked like he was as strong as twenty year old. Eponine approached him slowly

"I'm Eponine…Maurice is ill so I'm here", the old man took her hand

"Henri at your service…I've told that old bugger to take it easy…" laughed the old man heartily "come and sit my dear…show me what you've brought me"

"Of course," slowly Eponine put on gloves and handed the old man a pair, opening the case carefully she took out the first piece, an old edition of Beowulf dating back to the 16th century.

"My good that old grouch really found it" admiration and shock wormed their way into the gruff voice.

"Old man!...dinner's ready", shouted a voice from below.

"Bloody scoundrel….I'm busy!" Eponine heard the thudding as someone assaulted the stairs. Suddenly the door burst open and Eponine stopped breathing

"oi…do you want my mother to come up here…you better get downstairs or have you finally gone senile"

"Can't you see we've got a guest…you good for nothing loafer", the young man finally turned to Eponine at which point he also stopped breathing.

"Little mermaid..." slipped out of surprised lips

"En-enjolras..."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: okay well it's not quite as fluffy as I intended, in fact it's becoming much darker than I intended, guess I can't do light-hearted oh well, anyway thanks for the recent reviews and follows, and for those who've been here before you know who you are, I appreciate the continued support.**

Chapter 2: Friends

The old man glanced at the two youngsters curiously who seemed completely oblivious to him they stared at each other with gaping mouths and wide-eyes.

"You've…met before", it was a question, realising he was being spoken to Enjolras tore his eyes away from Eponine to look at his granddad.

"Yes…remember that day you insulted my useless dead father…and I stormed off well I ended up at her bookshop", an uncomfortable silence filled the room as steely gazes were exchanged.

"Useless idiot…get out… I'll be down when I'm done", Enjolras scoffed and turned his attention back to Eponine.

"You shouldn't have entered this world...little mermaid" without another word blue eyes turned and left.

As soon as the door clicked shut old man Henri went straight back to the books, like nothing had happened, however it took Eponine a few seconds to partly recover.

Slipping back into the car Eponine's head was swimming so much that she barely felt the car as it began meandering down the drive way, she did feel it however when it suddenly stopped and she was jolted forward violently, thank god for seatbelts. Getting her breath back Eponine undid the belt and stumbled out of the car to find blue eyes dusting himself off as he came around the corner. Slightly shocked she staggered towards him really not liking the blasé expression on his face.

"w-what…do you think you're doing, do you want to die?" Enjolras smiled enjoying the worried expression speckled across her face.

"….you're really rude" he stated through a toothy smile.

"What…"

"How could leave without saying a word…" it was Eponine's turn to look confused.

"I don't understand… but I should go" Eponine turned and tried to get back in the car when her wrist was grasped and she was spun round and pulled in. Holding her wrist above her head Enjolras held her close simply staring into her eyes.

"those were the things you should've said to me, before you left" Eponine looked away and tried to pull her wrist free but Enjolras held fast forcing her to look back up at him.

"We're not in the kind of relationship…where I could ask", Eponine muttered relieved as her wrist was released.

"Then what kind of relationship do we have?", Eponine dropped her gaze but when she looked back he had closed the gap, he was so close she could practically feel his breathing on her lips.

"Acquaintances…" came her nervous suggestion,

"No…"

"Then friends"

"No…" confusion furrowed dark eyebrows.

"Then…I don't know", and then a coy smile graced chapped lips.

"lovers….lets be lovers" Eponine's heart stopped beating, her lungs stopped breathing and for several seconds she forgot how to blink.

"Lo-lov…lo-lovers" she stuttered.

"Yes" came the firm reply.

"Why…" Eponine said as she stepped back.

"why not….I'm attracted to you, and I think you're attracted to me…I'll show you a good time…I'll share my wealth with you…and when it ends I'll try to be a gentleman… besides I'm sure we'll make some good memories so how about it Eponine?" Eponine tilted her head and gazed at him oddly a hint of pity swirling in her eyes.

"I might not have much…but I don't think so little of myself to start a relationship with a man, who talks of the end before anything's started…what woman would start a relationship with an expiry date" Enjolras scoffed.

"that's the problem with you women…you're so precious when it comes to relationships", Eponine calmly absorbed the derision in his eyes before taking a step towards him raising her arm she gently placed her hand on Enjolras' shoulder, immediate warmth began seeping into his skin.

"what you need isn't a lover…but a friend…so if you wanted I can be that instead…I'll listen to you complain….try and empathize when you're sad….stroke your ego when you're feeling low…and when you need to escape you can hang out at the bookshop and I can recommend you books with strange, beautiful and sad worlds...", time seemed to slow down as blue gazed into brown, it was an almost sweet moment until Enjolras violently yanked Eponine's hand from his shoulder.

"Who do you think you are….empathize? what the hell do you think you know?"

"I don't know anything….it's just I wanted to know…I should go", almost hurriedly Eponine got back in the car, and Enjolras remained in his spot even as the car drove away staring blankly at the spot where the pretty Liberian had stood, offering him a warm hand to cling to, a hand he had ripped away.

As she sat on her bed in her small room above the book shop Eponine thought of the nights events. She wondered what had possessed her to be so bold, to offer an almost complete stranger an absolute friendship. And then she remembered, it was his eyes they reminded her of her father's, beautiful, angry but ultimately lonely…soul crushingly lonely.

Eponine got on with her life and as the days piled up and those nights incident became nothing but a distant memory. She was busy restacking books when she heard the familiar creak of door and her heart jumped into her throat as she turned only to but make contact with warm hazel eyes, her organs relieved settled back in their rightful place.

"Hello Thomas…", Eponine said to the young man who owned the café across the street.

"I've brought you a sandwich and some coffee…" approaching carefully he placed them on the station.

"You don't have to keep doing that Thomas…",

"I want to…"came the firm reply, accompanied by a sweet smile.

"well then at least let me pay you.." Eponine bent to look behind the desk for her purse, finding it she picked it up just as the door swung shut, almost hitting her shin she bolted after the café owner.

Grabbing his arm in the middle of the street, curious brown eyes turned to meet her breathless form.

"let me pay you…" Eponine said letting go of the sleeve she'd grasped as she took out some change, and offered it to Thomas who smiled at her a little sadly, before he gently closed his hand over the change tenderly holding her small closed fist.

"I don't want your money…Eponine", Eponine tried to pull her hand but he held on.

"I just feel bad…you're always giving me things and I have nothing to give you", Thomas let go of her hand.

"I don't want anything from you...it would just be nice if you could acknowledge the reason I'm always giving you things" with a heavy sigh Thomas turned around and headed back to the café, Eponine gazed at the change in her and took a deep breath.

Eponine yawned it was far too late for a bookshop to still be open so she closed up and headed upstairs to have a late dinner, a quick shower before falling asleep. She was awoken in the early hours of the morning by loud banging and shouting, jolting up she wrapped herself in her dressing gown and headed downstairs, her finger carefully hovering over the police's number, only a speed dial away. As she got closer to the door she recognized the shouting voice and sighed before slowly unlocking the door and stopping her name mid shout.

"What are doing…?" Eponine asked frowning at the drunk swaying figure propping himself against the frame of her door.

"Is he here…" there was accusation in the question.

"Who…"

"the man whose hand you held in the street…the one you ran after…the one you watched leave.." Eponine thought and then something clicked in her head.

"Where you here before…" a strange laugh escaped chapped lips.

"So what if I was…"

"Did you come to see me…"blue eyes finally focused on confused brown irises

"Is he the reason…you don't want to become lovers", swaying forward into her personal space Enjolras waited. Eponine grasped his shoulders to steady him and stop him from crushing her.

"No…you are", Eponine said tiredly.

"Can you kill me…" glassy blue eyes gazed at her

"What…"

"I want to die….", as she gazed into his eyes, Eponine could almost see the tares in his soul. Moving her hands from his shoulders she lowered them and wrapped her arms around him pulling him into a warm embrace while gently rubbing his back in soothing circles.

"That's an awful thing to say….don't say things like that anymore", Eponine said slowly.

"What the hell do you know…" came a muttered reply, but Enjolras didn't pull away he simply remained in her arms enjoying the warmth seeping into his flesh from the petite body beneath.

"Nothing…but I want to".


	3. Chapter 3

**AN; well yep I'm guess I'm going to have take out the fluffy part out of the description…I will at least try and keep it short because I really want to edit and upload the first few chapters of the other story…anyway thank you guys for the reviews follows and views they really make my day, anyway enjoy.**

Chapter 3: Disappointed

Snapping to his senses Enjolras shoved Eponine back, he was too busy being angry to notice that her hand wacked against the door, and he was too submerged in his own self-pity to notice the pained wince that flickered across her face.

"Give me a break..." ignoring the bitterness in his voice Eponine reached out with her uninjured hand to steady him.

"Should I call you a cab", cool blue eyes met her concerned gaze before looking down at the small hands wrapped around his sleeve.

"What happened between then and now…why you are suddenly so eager to be my friend" curious blue eyes searched tired eyes.

"You remind me of someone…"

"An ex-lover?" Enjolras said slowly.

"My father", there was a strange pause

"Where is he…" he asked carefully

"He died a long time ago", Eponine stated with a shrug.

"I guess we're both in the dead dad's club", Enjolras said with a strange laugh, Eponine let go of his sleeve.

"I'll call you a cab" Eponine held out her phone but Enjolras' hands clasped over it and her hand.

"…all those things you promised to do for me that night…will you really do them", Eponine held his gaze

"I will…"

"Will you come running if I call…" disbelief was speckled in his question.

"If you need me…I'll try that's a promise"

"You're an idiot, what kind of person makes that kind of promise to a stranger..."

"I guess the same kind of person who asks a complete stranger to be their lover…" Enjolras laughed

"Just don't fall in love with me…or else you might end up like the little mermaid", Eponine smiled

"You're already worrying about me how sweet…I'm touched" Enjolras detected a hint of sarcasm in her voice

"Who are you?...one minute you're nervous…then you're firm and now… are you trying to be cute playful?", Eponine laughed again, her sparkling eyes entranced Enjolras for a second before he shook his head out of the clouds.

"Who knows…maybe I'm just crazy" she said with another shrug.

"Why would you want to be crazy…?"

"Just in case I become like the little mermaid…how else would you remember me"

"Now… you're the one talking of the end before anything's started"

"I am aren't I…" Eponine said more to herself than to anyone else, a little lost in her thoughts she was startled when Enjolras suddenly pressed her up against the door frame. His breath nothing but cool vapours tickled her nose while the arm he had pinning her seemed to burn into her skin. His sharp gaze kept her frozen as he gently raised his free hand and brushed a long wavy strand from her face tenderly tucking it behind her ear.

"help me breathe…and I'll remember you forever…Eponine", the way her name fell from his lips made Eponine take in an unsteady breath, as her chest gave a gentle thrum.

"I'll try…" came a small soft reply, letting his hand slip from her chest Enjolras remained close.

"You're back to being the nervous Liberian..." gently he brushed the side of her head "I like this side of you…" stepping back Enjolras stumbled out into the street "I should probably go…"

"wait!.." Eponine exclaimed before she ran back inside grabbing a pen and piece of paper she jotted down her number, edging out into the street and slowly taking his hand she placed the paper in the middle before gently closing it "in case you need me", letting go Eponine smiled at him. He didn't return the gesture just stared a little blankly before turning and staggering up the road, Eponine's smile faded as she stood still feeling awkward and cold.

But he came the next day and quietly sat in the corner reading, it was sweet how completely immersed in his book he was. He came again the day after and followed her around asking about why she decided to be a Liberian. On his third consistent appearance he made her write him a long list of recommendations. During those encounters, he was the sweetest version of himself, innocent and curious like a little kid and she was the version he liked best, cute and nervous.

It was coming up to mid-night when she got a call from Enjolras, he was in a bar close by and needed her to come by and pick him up. Slipping into comfortable loose black trousers, a moss green cardigan and wrapping her father's scarf around her neck Eponine headed to the bar.

It didn't take her long to find him sprawled out amongst a large and rowdy group of boys and girls. Ignoring the odd looks she received from his companions she calmly approached him reaching out she tugged on his sleeve, hazy and surprised blue eyes landed on her.

"Wow…you actually came", and then he burst into laughter "you're actually…here", Eponine let go as she found herself becoming the centre of attention.

"Is this her…the Liberian", a girl wearing a burgundy leather skirt asked,

"The one and only…" Enjolras drawled.

"You're taste's really…changed", said a random guy as he sauntered over to Eponine and put his arms around her shoulders "we'll she has got that whole Liberian look down...If that's your fetish" leaning close Eponine could the smell the liquor in his breath but only for a second because next thing he was being pulled off her.

"Don't touch her" a crisp and dangerous voice cut through the din, a voice that was unmistakably Enjolras' whose fists were now twisting in the guy's shirt, who lifted his hands up in mock defeat and staggered out of Enjolras' reach.

"is she your new charity case…", asked a beautiful Asian girl with scarlet lips.

"she must be…you remember he has a thing for poor girls", burgundy chimed in.

"and orphans…", chimed another guy in the corner.

"Leave her alone, she might run off crying", cut in liquor breath, ignoring them Eponine turned to meet Enjolras' gaze.

"Just tell me when you're ready to leave…I'll wait" walking off to the side Eponine pulled up a chair settling down she opened her satchel and pulled out a book. Enjolras friends laughed while he stood in his spot watching Eponine read her book in a bar. Ignoring her they went back to their drinking and general rowdiness, but no matter how hard he tried Enjolras could never get back into it fully, one eye was always on Eponine who seemed completely oblivious to her surroundings as she immersed herself in the book.

It was almost 3 in the morning when everyone was kicked out, Enjolras' friends staggered into random taxis and cars leaving him and Eponine alone on the street.

"I've called a taxi, it'll be here soon", reaching into her satchel Eponine pulled out a bottle of water and held out to Enjolras " you should drink some water.." without hesitation Enjolras struck the bottle knocking it out of her hand, it smashed against the concrete pavement water spurted and rolled down the street.

"I hate girls like you…pretending to be nice, pretending to care, pretending to be sweet…you're the worst" Eponine held his gaze as she slowly approached till she stood a hair breaths away.

"You don't have to try so hard to catch me….with your bad boy act…with the angry rich boy, tall dark and mysterious persona…and you definitely don't have to look me with those I feel like I'm carrying the whole world on my shoulder eyes"

"What are you talking about…?" Enjolras asked eyes narrowed completely on the defensive.

"You don't have do any of those things…because I'm easy" Enjolras frowned

"Easy…what are you talking about?" confusion coloured his blue eyes

"All you have to do is make me feel like I'm needed… at least a little bit"

"Do you have a problems…"

" Maybe I do…" Eponine said with pained and absent eyes "so far I haven't been able to help and wasn't needed by the all the people I've ever loved" looking away she let out an aching breath "I couldn't help my dying mother couldn't comfort my heartsick father…even my first love said that I had nothing to offer him…so all you have to do…is need me sometimes" Enjolras scoffed

"There seems to something wrong with your head" a mocking smirk graced his chapped lips as derision dripped from his voice.

"Maybe…but it's no worse than your self-destructive bad boy neurosis", the grin disappeared

"What exactly are you saying…?" Eponine could hear the tension in his voice.

"I'm trying to tell you that I won't waste time on someone who doesn't need me" Eponine said simply.

"So…"

"So I really hope that the poor little rich boy act isn't the way you plan on living your life…because no matter how lonely you are, no matter how much you remind me of my father…it's too hard to embrace someone an arm's length away" just then a taxi pulled up to where they stood.

"Aren't you going back on your words…to empathize, comfort and all that crap" hearing the accusation Eponine smiled a little, but there was nothing happy about it.

"Yes you're right…but what was it you said that I might have… mental problems"

"What the hell did you expect from me?"

"I think that I expected more… so I'm disappointed that this was all there was to you"

"Who do you think-" he began angrily but was cut off.

"Your taxi's here", stepping away Eponine watched Enjolras waiting for anything else he had to say as there seemed to be nothing she turned and wordlessly began walking away. Enjolras stumbled forward hand reaching out towards her but at the last moment he let it drop.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I wasn't sure where this was going but now I think I know I'm definitely going to have to take the fluffy bit out of the description, so hopefully you guys enjoy it anyway here's the next instalment**,

Chapter 4: Friends again?

Two quite weeks passed by and autumn was starting to turn to winter as the muggy wet mornings started to cool and turn crisp. It was one of those mornings when Eponine heard the familiar creaking of the shop door opening, looking up she was met with strangely familiar and at the same time unfamiliar blue eyes.

"You're her…you must be her" a small, tired voice sighed as small feet edged closer "you must be Eponine", stepping around her workstation Eponine faced the petite figure.

"I am...who are you?" a small smile graced pale lips.

"I'm Lulu…" Eponine gazed at young woman blankly.

"Sorry…but do I know you"

"No…but you know my brother"

"Your brother?"

"Thank you for all the books you've recommended…I enjoyed them" Eponine's brain turned, it didn't take long for something to click.

"En-Enjolras…are you Enjolras's sister" a small nod of confirmation, staggering forward Eponine could see it now the hair was darker more of a strawberry blonde but everything else, the shape of the lips, the cheek bones, and then the eyes, those crispy blue orbs that seemed to stare right into your soul were the same.

"It's nice to meet you Eponine…" slowly Eponine took the small hands and offered a warm smile.

"erm…you too I guess….why are you here if don't mind me asking"

"I came here to beg you…not to abandon my brother, whatever he said or did to hurt you, just know that he didn't mean it…and that it's my fault" Eponine frowned.

"What are you talking about…did he send you?"

"if he knew I was here, he'd probably kill me… I can't tell you what exactly I'm talking about…just that my brother doesn't mean any harm..."

"Lulu your brother and I are just on different pages…it just happens", grabbing both of Eponine's hands glossy blue eyes stared up pleadingly.

"I don't think you understand what you mean to him…he told me about the first day he met you…about how he was sure he'd found the nicest and most naïve person in this whole world…everyday he saw you he'd come and tell me…she's so strange Lulu…she's kind of funny Lulu…maybe I'm out of my depth, she's more complicated than I thought...she looks at books the way I look at you isn't that fascinating…I've never met anyone like her Lulu…never"

"He talked about me… to you", Eponine asked, Lulu nodded with a smile, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"all the time… you're important to him and you make him happy and he hasn't been happy in the longest time so whatever he did… forgive give him he doesn't have many people on his side… he needs you…so please don't abandon him…please", tears rolled down pale cheeks as Lulu began shaking. Eponine rubbed her hands.

"Don't cry…you'll make sad", Lulu smiled through her tears letting Eponine slowly pull her towards a chair "sit down…I'll get you something to drink" as Eponine let go to leave Lulu grabbed her hand again.

"You don't have to do that…I just came here for my brother", Eponine smiled gently and patted her hand.

"Don't be silly you came all way here…I should at least offer you some refreshment"

"You really- ""

"It's just tea…accept it or I'll call your brother", Lulu's mouth fell open "if I remember right you said he'd kill you if he found you here" Eponine laughed at the look of disbelief on Lulu's face.

"Just kidding…but seriously don't go anywhere I'll be back in a minute", Lulu smiled as Eponine ran upstairs.

When she came back downstairs Lulu was reading in corner, relieved Eponine served tea and brioche and they talked, they talked all morning and Eponine found out that Lulu was 19, had a morbid obsession with Edgar Allan Poe and that she loved to dance and her brother a lot because she spent most of the time talking about him. When she finally left around lunchtime Eponine was left feeling confused and conflicted, Lulu's plea had gotten to her. Because Lulu had gotten to her, that sweet clever loyal girl who seemed to have many secrets and seemed to be carrying a sorrow that was too deep for someone her age.

So against her better judgement Eponine found herself standing in front of the gates of house she never thought she'd be returning to.

Lying on a Greek style sofa, Enjolras stared up at celling feeling emptier then he'd felt in a long time.

"You have a visitor, Master Bastille", announced a man servant Enjolras sat up slowly just in time to see Eponine emerge from behind his man servant who promptly took his exit, slowly Enjolras walked up to Eponine, who gazed at him a little nervously. For a few moments they stood just staring at each other.

"Why are you…here?" taking a deep breaths Eponine thrust a package she was holding towards him.

"You ordered these books but you never came to pick them up", Enjolras didn't even look at the package he kept his eyes trained on Eponine.

"You could've mailed them",

"They're old, they would've been damaged"

" You could've had them couriered "

"I don't have money to spare", Enjolras took a step forward, Eponine edged backwards

"You could've charged me...", still moving forwards Enjolras was forcing Eponine into a corner.

"that wouldn't have seemed right…", Eponine said nervously as her back hit the wall, Enjolras' hand rose up and rested by the side of her head, the other hand reached out and brushed her fingers as he took the package and gently dropped it on the ground while his blue eyes kept staring into her large doe brown eyes.

"But coming here to deliver them personally to a man you hate…seemed right"

"I don't hate you…." Eponine said quietly but firmly.

"Oh right…hate would mean you cared,"

"I do care…I was hurt and overacted last time. But I was hurt"

"Then did you come for an apology…to tell me how disappointed you were with me again…is that it?" Eponine flinched slightly at the edge in Enjolras' voice.

"I missed you", Enjolras eyes widened as he stepped back, finally letting Eponine breathe "the truth is I didn't come because you forgot to pick up the books…I came because I missed you….I missed your company"

"Do you know how pathetic you sound right now…?" Enjolras stated plainly.

"I am pathetic…I wake up alone, eat alone, look after the shop alone, every day alone….I don't have friends…no one to share things with laugh, cry, complain with …no one that I feel comfortable around…until you", Enjolras frowned

"What are you saying…"

"After you stopped coming I really noticed how alone I was….how lonely I was", Enjolras folded his arms,

"Then what do you want me to do…"

"be my friend…this time I'm asking you to be my friend…I would be really grateful if you could be my friend", nervously Eponine reached out towards Enjolras with an open hand, blue eyes stared at the open gesture but nothing happened so Eponine let her arm drop "I guess not…", she whispered as she turned and began leaving, Enjolras watched feeling like his chest was being crushed.

Half way down the drive a strong grip around her wrist swung her around to face crisp blue eyes, pressed up so close she could see the fluttering of fair lashes and the breathless movement of chapped lips.

"I never said no..." slowly Enjolras let go of her wrist.

"What…"

"I never said no…so where the hell do think you're going?", Enjolras watched as lightly agape rose lips slowly carved into a beautiful, innocent smile, and Eponine let out a breath of relief.

"If you were going to say yes…why did you let me walk the whole length of the driveway…you should've stopped me as soon as I turned around..." Enjolras mouth fell open

"What…"

"Do you know how embarrassed I felt when I counted to 3 and you didn't stop me..."

"You..."

"I really thought…I was going to have to come again"

"Who are you?…"Eponine smiled brightly and jumped to his side, linking arms.

"Your friend…Eponine", letting go Eponine rubbed her tummy "I'm hungry feed me… friend", Enjolras scoffed.

"Are you trying to be cute?" Eponine looked at him blankly

"No… I'm genuinely hungry... I was so nervous about coming here I haven't eaten today", Enjolras rubbed his forehead.

"Let's go…I'll have the chefs cook you something"

Half an hour later sitting in the dining room, Enjolras and Eponine were eating and talking, well Eponine was talking and Enjolras was trying to keep up with everything she was saying. They were so engrossed in each other that they didn't even notice when someone entered.

"Who this…" at the sound of that voice Enjolras jumped up and Eponine noticed how his relaxed face became very serious. Walking up to the figure he grabbed an arm and whispered something, the figure made face and punched him… "Stop being rude and introduce me…" standing up Eponine approached cautiously, Enjolras rubbed his eyes.

"Fine…Eponine this is my little sister Lulu….Lulu, Eponine", Eponine shook Lulu's hand warmly and they shared a look before letting go.

"It's nice to meet you Lulu", smiling Lulu nodded

"And you…Eponine".


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: sorry this took so long, Uni's been a bit busy lately, I'll be trying to upload a chapter every 3 days so bare with me, anyway thanks for follows and reviews, they're massively appreciated**

Chapter 5: Boundaries

As they ate their meal Lulu sat down next to her brother a Cheshire cat like smile on her lips while her pale blue eyes fixed unwaveringly on Enjolras and Eponine. After about five minutes Enjolras put his fork down with a heavy sigh.

"Lulu..", he stated plainly,

"huh.." she said snapping out of her trance.

"you're being creepy..", he said his voice deadpan, Lulu giggled as she stood up.

"I get it big bro I'm cramping your style…" Enjolras rolled his eyes as Lulu made a hasty exit, turning back to Eponine he offered her, a what can you do shrug.

"Sorry about her …she's-"

"Sweet" Eponine cut in with a smile.

"I was going to say crazy" He said, eyes lingering on the curve of her rosy lips as his heart thumped wildly in his chest.

In Lulu's absence, and having finished their food there was nothing to do but stare at each other.

"So…" Eponine began tapping her fingers on the table.

"So..." echoed Enjolras.

"What do we do now…" leaning across the table Enjolras gazed into curious eyes and smiled.

"Let's toast our new friendship..." standing up suddenly he came around the corner of the table grabbing Eponine's wrist and pulled her up, not waiting for a response he dragged her deeper into his house.

They arrived at a study on the other side of the house, gently Enjolras pushed Eponine onto an old sofa.

"Stay here…" again without waiting for a reply he ran off, taking a deep breath Eponine tried to calm the erratic thumping in her chest. A few minutes later he returned, bottle of wine, and two glasses in hand, sitting down next to her he opened the bottle of red wine and poured her a glass, Eponine took the glass tentatively.

"Are you sure this is a good idea", Eponine said lowly looking up she was met with playful blue eyes.

"Live a little Eponine…" said Enjolras as he took a sip, sighing Eponine followed his example. Half an hour later half the bottle had gone.

"What made you want to be a Liberian…?"

"My adoptive father….the man whose bookshop I'm looking after"

"Then are you doing it to make him happy…" Eponine took a deep breath.

"No...I do it because I love it…the woman who would've been my mother used to volunteer at the orphanage my parents abandoned me at…she used to bring books and I used to love hearing her read them, she also taught me how to read, and I guess she was the first person I ever loved…" Eponine drifted off a nostalgic smile on sad rosy lips.

"She must be proud of you…"

"she died a long time ago, I think she wanted to adopt me but then she just died, her heart just stopped beating and her husband my father was the one to tell me… about a week later he started the process to adopt me, I think he wanted to fulfil his wife's last wish…" Eponine rested her head on the back of the sofa her mind feeling a bit hazy. Maybe it was the low lighting, the dust made of old books or the effect of his grandfather's priceless wine, but Enjolras found his hands reaching out to gently brush Eponine's dark waves from her face. Eponine eyes widened when she felt the fingers in her hair, goosebumps rising on her pale arms, realising what he'd done Enjolras pulled his hand away awkwardly and cleared his throat.

"I'll get more wine…" staggering to his feet Enjolras walked off, Eponine sat up patting her face to try and wake up a bit.

"Friends… we're just friends", Eponine murmured to herself. After waiting for what seemed like forever Eponine became restless and decided to go searching for Enjolras. Walking unsteadily around endless corridors it soon became apparent that Eponine was completely lost but then she heard the murmur of a voice in the distant, carefully she followed the sound till she came to a door that was slightly ajar, pushing it open it took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness and as they did she made out the silhouette of a petite figure slumped against an antique armchair.

Eponine approached slowly hearing foots steps the figure lifted her head to reveal glassy grey eyes framed in a mane of light auburn hair, tears painted pale cheeks, rosy chapped lips trembled. Bending down Eponine rested her hand on small shoulders.

"Are you okay?", tired eyes opened and closed slowly,

"Where is he…" a hoarse voice murmured, Eponine leaned closer trying to hear.

"sorry What did you say…" all of a sudden a small firm hand was grasping her shirt.

"Did you hide him…?"

"I don't…"

"Don't lie to me!" Eponine staggered at the sudden shriek.

"I really don't know what you're talking about…" Eponine tried gently, the woman let go and rose to her feet unsteadily, followed by Eponine who watched her as she gazed around frantically.

"Who put you up to this…" the woman asked her eyes wide, before Eponine could even respond her shirt was being grasped again.

"Lies! Lies!" the grip tightened "bring him…bring him to me", Eponine didn't know what say, next thing she knew the hands that were griping her clothes were using an ungodly to strength to shove her back, so hard her back hit a shelf and she crumpled slightly to the floor.

In a slight daze the women swayed around the room knocking empty glasses onto the floor letting the shards scatter across the wooden floor, seeing the woman's bare feet, Eponine staggered to her feet wincing at pain in her back and head. Slowly she headed towards the woman whose pale feet were now coated in crimson. Eponine wrangled the dazed woman into the arm chair as she tried to clear away the glass. Just as she was about done she heard footsteps, turning around she met fiery blue eyes, that gazed from her to the figure slumped in the arm chair with bleeding feet, in shock horror and anger.

"What did you do!" a frantic accusation accompanied cold blue eyes.

"I didn't-" Eponine began.

"What the hell did you do!" he shouted again running towards his mother, he knelt down stroking the pale face trying to catch the gaze of unfocused grey eyes.

"Mum…are you okay…mum", hearing the sorrowful worry Eponine edged forward.

"Is she-", Enjolras snapped around standing up, he stalked towards Eponine.

"Go", he said with barely veiled anger,

"Enjolras I-", a firm grip on her arms stopped her words.

"didn't you hear what I said…Go!", he shoved Eponine who stumbled back on her injured foot, wordlessly she turned and walked out, as soon as she was out of his sight she allowed herself to limp, the pain in her leg almost unbearable now. Walking down long corridors head lowered Eponine didn't see the horrified figure watching her until she heard the voice.

"Eponine…" asked a troubled voice, looking up Eponine watched as Lulu ran to her.

"What happened to you…" pale blue eyes noticed all the things another pair should have, like the endless cuts on Eponine's fingers and hands, the bruises up and down her bare arms; where they'd been grasped too hard, and the limp.

"I'm fine Lulu…your mum….its fine Enjolras is with her now", Eponine said slowly.

"You need to get your woun-"

"I'm fine Lulu…you should go find your brother", giving Lulu's trembling shoulders a reassuring squeeze Eponine slipped past trying to pretend her leg was fine, but as Lulu watched her she could see how hard she was trying to walk on that foot.

Running with a nervous desperation Lulu found her brother pretty quickly, he was tucking their mother into her bed, when he turned he was surprised at the anger in his little sisters' eyes.

"Have you lost your mind…?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Eponine…what did you do to her…" Lulu approached her brother

"I didn't do anything...I just sent her off, she wouldn't have been wondering around…mum got hurt becau-"

"She's crazy…mum got hurt because she's crazy", Enjolras' face tightened.

"Lulu", there was a warning in his voice.

"What?..did I say something wrong…mum is a bat shit crazy drunk." Lula stated an angry tremble in her small voice, the tears further betraying her steely gaze.

"Lulu" Enjolras said again his face softening.

"Did you even see Eponine…?"

"She's fine…mum is-"

"Mums fine…she's probably fine because Eponine stopped her…I'm pretty sure mum hurt her"

"What are you talking about?"

"don't tell you didn't you notice the cuts and braises all over Eponine's body..no…then what about her injured leg the one she's pretending is fine…she's really hurt and you just sent her away…what kind of person does that...what kind of idiot does that" Enjolras suddenly felt very small.

"She was hurt", he asked slowly, Lulu sighed,

"You can be such an idiot sometimes go after her… I'll stay with mum", Enjolras fixed his sister with a strange gaze, she hated staying with their mother.

"Lulu I'm sure-" Enjolras began.

"Go", lulu said firmly, letting out a frustrated sigh Enjolras walked briskly out of the room, the brisk walk soon turned into a sprint.

Limping along their long driveway, Enjolras saw that Eponine hadn't made it very far, he walked behind her for while watching her painful limping before running up and tapping her on the shoulder there was a long pause before Eponine turned around, and Enjolras found himself gazing into weary brown eyes. Finally he allowed himself to properly look at Eponine, his eyes took in the braises scattered across pale arms that should've had a coat, the delicate fingers that were covered in cuts and of course he'd witnessed the limp first hand, and he sighed with frustration anger and guilt.

"You didn't take your coat", Eponine looked away.

"You put it in the cloak room when I came, I didn't know where that was", Eponine said calmly.

"You're hurt..."

"You noticed…" Enjolras noted the sarcastic surprise in her voice.

"Are you mad at me?" there was long heavy pause as Eponine stared into those wondering blue orbs before looking away.

"The world you live in…you won't let me anywhere near it"

"What…"

"I've tried to enter it twice now…but each time you shove me further away"

"Eponine" holding up her hand Eponine stopped Enjolras' words and as his eyes came face to face with deep gashes on her hand, his chest tightened.

"And all I'm left with is scars…I've had enough scars in my life, I don't want yours…I don't"

"I didn't mean-"

"I'm not your punching bag….I won't be, I won't", although her voice trembled a little he could hear the conviction in her voice. Slowly Eponine turned around and began limping away. A few seconds later a jacket was slung over her shoulders stopping her in her tracks. Gently Enjolras came to stand by her side.

"If I was good guy…I'd tell you that it probably be best if you didn't try to enter my world...that you should leave quietly while you can." Rubbing his eyes Enjolras let his gaze settle on Eponine's face.

"But I've always been selfish…so please don't leave…don't leave me", Eponine could feel the blue eyes boring into her face, felt the nervous sigh that seemed rise from the depth of his soul. Turning slowly she met his gaze, her lips trembling.

"is there a place for me…in your world", she asked.

"I don't know…I don't know".


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: see I kept my promise, anyway thank you for follows and reviews, I think I' about half through, gonna keep this short so I can start working on the supper, supper dark enjolras/eponine story that I promised.**

Chapter 6: Bittersweet

"What am I supposed with…I don't know", sighing Enjolras broke away from the confusion swirling in endless brown eyes. Then in almost slow motion he turned into Eponine, leaning in he wrapped his arms around her small trembling shoulders, pressing his cheek to hers as he let out a sigh that sent shivers down her spine.

"Don't accept it…you shouldn't accept it", his murmuring lips brushed her ears as his grip tightened, closing her eyes Eponine inhaled his scent a muddle of dusty books, red wine and expensive cologne, before she snapped back to reality. In the same way that he had, she shoved him back but her balance was off and she landed on her injured foot. The pain made her hunch over as the pain spiked up her leg, sharp and very intense.

Immediately Enjolras was by her side, warm hand on a once again bare arm, as the coat had fallen off.

"Does it hurt", wide pained eyes snapped to meet his concern,

"Of course it hurts!" unsteadily Eponine straightened up in time to see Enjolras kneel and offer her his back.

"Get on",

"What"

"Get on…you won't get far like this"

"I'm not a child how-"

"Eponine it's either this…or I carry you bridal style", although he couldn't see it Enjolras could sense the silent deliberation. A few moments later Enjolras felt warmth as Eponine draped herself over his back, her small arms coming gently around his neck. Slowly he rose to his feet, liking the nervous way her legs wrapped around his waist, it was quite for a few steps before Eponine's small voice broke the intimate silence.

"sometimes I used run away from the orphanage I'd always end up in the park… watching parents play with their children, I used to get so jealous…especially when the dads gave their children piggybacks" Eponine said nostalgically into the nape of Enjolras' neck.

"Didn't you adoptive father give you a piggyback ride"

"No…this is my first ...this is it" Enjolras could hear the sadness in the tiny voice so close to his ear, and with each step he could feel Eponine tighten her grip as if afraid that he would suddenly drop her.

"I won't drop you…I won't", he could feel the gentle smile as they approached the house.

Gently Enjolras lowered Eponine into a sofa chair and kneeled by her feet pulling up her jeans a little ,he examined the swollen ankle before gazing up at Eponine.

"it must have really hurt…I'm sorry", standing up Enjolras smiled a little sadly "I'll be back", with that he strode away quickly leaving Eponine to ignore the tingly feeling in her ankle and the warm feeling in her chest. This time round he came back much quicker, first aid kit in hand and with gentle and warm fingers he applied some anti-inflammatory cream wrapping her leg up in a bandage. With almost the same kind of precision he cleaned her cuts placing plasters on the deepest ones. All this was done in a silence charged with nervous new feelings.

After he was done Enjolras pulled up a chair and sat directly opposite Eponine, so close their knees were touching. Back bent a little he kneaded his hands nervously, before he slightly straightened; letting his weary blue eyes find Eponine's curious brown.

"My mother is a bat shit crazy drunk", a humourless laugh followed the repeated words,

"Enjolras you don-"

"There's something wrong with everyone in this house…and the longer you hang around the more you'll find out… and I really don't want you to find out which means I'll probably over react when you do …so I'll apologize advance…I'm sorry Eponine….and because I'm weak and useless I won't be able to always take your side even if you're right… again I'm sorry…there's also a really high probability that you'll get hurt again…and for that I'm the most sorry…even so I hope you'll stay", a long pause followed as Enjolras went back to kneading his fingers, after taking a long and heavy sigh Eponine reached out and lay her hand across nervous knuckles stilling their movements. Slowly Enjolras lifted his head, his lips slightly parted in wonder, his gaze falling on the small warm smile that clung to the rosy lips that had haunted his dreams for weeks.

"We're friends now…it won't be that easy to get rid of me ", a warm smile accompanied those warm words.

"What if I fall in love with you", Eponine's heart almost stopped beating.

"Oh…" was Eponine's startled response.

"Will you say stay if I fall in love with you", Eponine gulped nervously fully aware that her hand were still resting against Enjolras' and that his knees were still pressed up against hers, seeing the nervous distress in her eyes Enjolras smiled "don't look so frightened...I'm joking", slowly he pulled his chair back, disconnecting their hands and feet. Eponine laughed nervously.

"Joking….of course", said Eponine her voice cracking a little. Standing up Enjolras ruffled Eponine's hair.

"You're cute when you're flustered", Eponine wanted to deny it but she could already feel her cheeks going red. Stumbling to her feet Eponine felt very unsure of herself, her blood seeming to burn under her skin.

"I should get home…. It's getting late"

"I'll take you"

"You don't hav-"

"Are you going to walk then" Eponine's protests died in her throat as she came face to face with Enjolras' amused expression.

The journey to the book shop was spent in a companionable silence, Eponine gazing out of the window, and Enjolras trying to keep his eyes on the road while sneaking glances at Eponine.

Side by side Enjolras and Eponine walked up to the bookshop, turning around Eponine was a little taken back by the intensity she found in Enjolras' eyes.

"Well erm goodnight", she managed to say with a smile, there was a slight pause before Enjolras closed the gap leaning down he wrapped Eponine up in his arms again, closing his eyes he inhaled her scent a swirl of cinnamon, words and wine. Nervously Eponine raised her arms resting them on his back feeling the tiny hands Enjolras opened his sighing deeply.

"I'm glad I met you…Eponine", pulling back Enjolras gazed into anxious brown eyes, he let his arms drop the silence telling him it was time to leave, turning he began walking towards his car. Seeing his dejected back Eponine called out.

"Me too…I'm glad I met you too", turning slowly relived blue eyes found warm brown swirls and a sweet smile, with nothing left to say Enjolras slowly slid into his car and drove away, feeling a little peace for the first time in a long time.

The next morning Eponine woke up with a smile on her face wrapping her arms around herself she allowed herself to dwell on the night where she was held, numerously and warmly.

Enjolras started much the same way, with a smile, he had breakfast with his sister, checked up on his mother and then retreated to his study. It's the afternoon that breaks the peace and sets hell loose.

Enjolras 'friends' find their way to Eponine's book shop, taking a corner in the library they begin by drinking and spilling wine everywhere, roughly handling the books, letting the pages bend, and old parchment damage, and they squawk like birds, chirping hoarsely at each other, like caged zoo animals. But worse of all they mock, belittle and humiliate Eponine, her attempts to get them to leave fall on deaf ears, and she's jeered away.

Finally she caves and calls Enjolras and less than half an hour later, his there staring down his so called friends.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"We're just making friends", said burgundy skirt with a shrug,

"Leave…" his cold voice echoes around the small shop as the girl staggers towards him,

"Oh come on Enjolras…where's your sense of fun", she mewls flirtatiously, and Enjolras pushes her back,

"I never found bullying much fun…get out", the girl pouts ,

"Don't tell me you actually like… the orphan", Enjolras eyes flicker to Eponine who flinches,

"more than that I-"", his reply is cut short by a sudden and intense ringing that jolts everyone, in an almost panic he picks up, a hundred different emotions flicker across his face before he hangs up.

"I have to go..." he states face void of emotion, Eponine stares at him in disbelief,

"Take your friends with you…" Eponine murmurs, he barely hears her as he heads towards the door "Enjolras!" she says firmly he pauses at the door turning slightly to see the panic in her eyes.

"Later Eponine…Later", and as the door swings shut a cackle of derision sounds from behind her and suddenly the embraces of the night before seem a million miles away.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I'm determined to finish this story before the new season of game of thrones that's my target, anyway thanks so much for views reviews and favourites, I really appreciate it.**

Chapter 7: Appetite

Sitting in a familiar corridor staring at blank white walls, Enjolras felt the familiar fear in the pit of his stomach. He hated the stark lights, the smell of disinfect, the presence of death that hung like a cloud over all hospitals.

Easing herself into her chair, Eponine let out a deep sigh having finally cleared the mess Enjolras' friends had left behind, as her eyes slowly slid to a close she heard the familiar cling of the door. Eyes suddenly wide open Eponine searched for blue eyes only to be met with warm brown.

"Thomas…" she sighed deflating.

"Charming…" Thomas said with mock hurt Eponine smiled slightly,

"Sorry…it's just been a long day" another heavy sigh fell from Eponine's lips, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder Thomas tugged Eponine to her feet.

"I've closed up….come and have some food…listen to some world music, chat about nothing, like we used to…", all the protests that normally rose up every time Thomas offered died and Eponine nodded tiredly picking up her keys and quickly locking up she trailed behind Thomas coming to a sudden stop in the middle of the street.

Thomas turned his eyes falling on a motionless Eponine blankly staring at her feet, face sprinkled with a yawning despair. A strange listless sadness fed by an exhaustion that drains you of the will to fight it off, and as always Thomas approached it gently.

"Eponine….are you okay", a warm cascade of tears fell from downcast eyes, splashing against the uncaring concrete, not knowing what to do Thomas took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Eponine and just held her for a long while.

"Eponine..." the voice that had brought her to this brink called out, slowly pulling away from the warmth Eponine turned to find two pairs of concerned blue eyes staring at her. But still her lips remained firmly together.

"Eponine…" Lulu's soft voice tried tentatively, shaking herself Eponine tried to let a smile grace her lips but failed.

"Hello Lulu..." she finally managed to say her eyes completely on the young woman, Lulu gazed worriedly from Eponine to her brother, before gently shoving him forward.

"Eponine I…I need to talk to you", his words fell with a breathless nervousness willing warm brown eyes to find him again "Eponine…", another plea punctuated by a firm grasp of the wrist "Eponine..." urgency, finally cool brown eyes found him.

"Let go…"

" a minute…give me a minute", the slender fingers tightened around her wrist burning into her flesh.

"I don't want to…", was the curt but trembling replying, slowly Thomas stepped up reaching for Eponine but was stopped by a firm pull of his shirt he turned to find defiant blue eyes glaring at him, he froze.

Eponine felt the hand wrapped around her begin to tremble slowly she looked up to the assault of emotion swirling in Enjolras' eyes, he had that look, that tired, soul crunching exhaustion of a someone whose lived a troubled, painful life and she caved in and took pity.

"Just a minute…" Eponine finally said as she slowly unclasped his hand and began walking back towards the books shop, Thomas tried to take a step but was held fast.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked craning his head to try and look at the young woman who was detaining him.

"I'm Sorry… but I can't let you interrupt", with a warning smile Lulu released Thomas' shirt, he turned to face her arms folded.

"Why should I listen to you…?"

"You have no choice old man...I won't let you", Thomas scoffed

"Old man…" Thomas repeated with a frown.

"You look about 30..." Lulu replied calmly looking him up and down.

"I'm 29…"

"Same difference…" Lulu shrugged, rolling his eyes Thomas began to walk towards the book shop, and once again, dainty fingers clasped the back of his shirt stopping him.

"If you really wanted to leave, I couldn't stop you…but give them a minute… please", the playfulness, the strength, the firmness was all gone, all that was left was a trembling plea, gently the fingers slipped from his shirt he turned and was met with the same downcast, tired sadness, he sighed.

"Why is it so important to you…that they make up", slowly teary blue eyes found him.

"Because it's my fault they're like this…it's my fault" tears soaked pale cheeks and Thomas shifted uncomfortably, reaching out he lay a hesitant hand on unfamiliar shoulders.

"I'm sure everything will be err fine", he said awkwardly, the tears stopped and Lulu looked at him and laughed.

"You're terrible at comforting people…old man", Thomas arm dropped.

"I wish you stop calling me old man…" he muttered, there was a slight pause and then Lulu's tummy rumbled.

"I'm really hungry..." _don't do it Thomas don't-_

"…I err own a café if you want something to eat", _you kind-hearted fool_, his mind chastised but then he looked at relieved joy in pale blue eyes and it suddenly didn't seem to matter. Lulu jumped and linked arms,

"Lead the way old m-…what's your name", she said stopping her self,

"Thomas…"

"Lulu...lets go, I'm expiring", sighing Thomas allowed Lulu to hold onto him as he ushered her towards his café.

The air in the dusty bookshop was infused with the tense emotion of too many unspoken feelings. Enjolras stood facing Eponine his heart threatening to leap right out his chest.

"Leaving you like that…was unfair", each word seemed to be putting a strain on his heart "I shouldn't have…but I had no choice…there's a reason…there's a reason I had to leave…there is Eponine…I can't say it yet…I can't…so please don't make me...please", Enjolras voice cracked a few times, he was begging for so much for trust, for acceptance, for forgiveness.

"Do you want to know, what I hate most in this world", Eponine's voice trembled as the words fell from her lips.

"What?"

"being abandoned….everyone I meet eventually leaves me, it's why I'm always in this little books shop, it's safe here, the books, the stories the characters don't change…but people do, they can't be trusted…I can't-" Eponine choked unable to go on, without hesitation Enjolras reached out and pulled her into his arms pressing her tightly against his body, feeling her ragged breath against the nape of his neck.

"I came back Eponine…I'll always come back for you… because I need you…I need you" slowly Enjolras pulled way but kept his arms on Eponine's shoulders, his heart jumped into his throat as he gazed at the trembling lips, his eyes trailing over pale wet cheeks, and thick dark lashes glistening with tears. Leaning in he pressed his forehead to hers before gently manvuring his lips to rest against a warm cheek, lingering far too long for it to be a friendly gesture, pulling away he let out a deep sigh and waited.

"The reason you left….was it very important",

"Extremely…"Eponine took a deep breath caving again.

"Okay…" she said after a short pause a small smile finally gracing her lips.

"Okay", Enjolras repeated hope feeling his blue eyes, his tense shoulders relaxed and he smiled back.

In the café, Thomas sat across from Lulu watching with amusement as she devoured the mini sandwiches and cakes, stopping she looked up to see Thomas bemused gaze.

"It's been a long day…" she said in a don't judge me voice. Thomas smiled.

"A large appetite is a sign of good health", it was only for moment but Thomas could've sworn her smile completely vanished. He didn't have too much time to ponder because the cafe door suddenly swung open, Lulu watched as the easy smile on his lips deflated, and she turned following his eye line. Standing in the door shoulders pressed together seeming relaxed and happy were Enjolras and Eponine. Coming over Enjolras frowned as he stared at his sister and then Thomas.

"What have told you about eating with strange men", Enjolras' deadly gaze remained fixated on Thomas as he asked, Lulu rolled her eyes, and Eponine reached out and pinched Enjolras who turned to find her fixing him with a steely gaze.

"It's nice of you to open up your café and give Lulu a place to wait and eat Thomas…isn't that right Enjolras", Enjolras looked away,

"Yeah it's nice of you...", Enjolras muttered not even looking at Thomas. Standing up Thomas shuffled past Enjolras avoiding Eponine's eyes.

"I'll get you guys something to drink", he murmured as he shuffled past Lulu followed his dejected shoulders as they disappeared through the kitchen doors, before turning her attention back to Enjolras and Eponine.

"so you guys made up…", she inquired with raised eyebrows and a silly smile, Lulu didn't miss the way her brothers cheek reddened, or the easy smile that found itself on Eponine's lips.

"We did…" Eponine sated staring at Enjolras, Lulu smiled but her eyes was focused just beyond them.

"I'm going to see if Thomas needs help", before either of them could reply, Lulu dashed off. When she pushed open the door she found Thomas leaning against the wall, looking like a kicked puppy walking over she stood next to him leaning against the wall.

"I've loved her for 10 years…and although she never once returned my feelings…there was always hope because she never looked at one else either... until now", a sad laugh fell from tired lips.

"I'm sorry…" Thomas turned and gazed into sympathetic blue eyes and sighed.

"maybe it's about time…I let it go", turning away Thomas closed his eyes, they were forced open by a thud, turning to the side he found that Lula had slipped to the floor kneeling he rested his hand on her shoulders, her pale blue eyes found him. "What's wrong? Are you okay", he watched as trembling lips tried to form words, watched as sweat began to cover her forehead.

"I'm…fine", came a pained reply Thomas frowned and made to get up,

"I'll get your brother", as he attempted to move away a desperate hand reached out and grabbed him.

"No…don't. Pleas don't", Thomas took her hand,

"But Lulu… you're in pain", a small pained smile found its way to Lulu's lips

"It'll pass…it'll pass so don't", Thomas sighed,

"But- ", the look of pure and utter desperation in those pale blue eyes stopped his words.

"Okay…," Lulu asked

"Okay…" Thomas answered.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Breaking- point

As Lulu's breathing settled and colour found its way back into her pale cheeks, Thomas let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you okay now…" a small smile graced Lulu's lips.

"I'm okay…" Lulu's eyes travelled down to where Thomas' hand was tightly entwined with hers, "help me up…"gently Thomas pulled her up and as she stumbled his other hand rose to steady her, giving pale blue eyes time to absorb the lines of concern that were etched into Thomas face and another smile found its way onto pale lips.

"Really…I'm okay" Lulu said gently as she pulled out of Thomas grasp "we should hurry up, they're probably wondering what's taking us so long".

Standing side by side Thomas and Lulu prepared the snacks and drinks but when they finally emerged Enjolras and Eponine didn't even notice them enter. As they were far too consumed with each other, faces milometers apart, whispering beautiful nothingness. Lulu cleared her throat, startled blue and brown eyes gazed up,

"Should we come back later…?" Eponine blushed as Enjolras cleared his throat, slowly Lulu and Thomas set everything down slipping into the opposing seats, when Enjolras eyes finally took in his sister he frowned.

"You look a little flushed Lulu…did something happen?" Lulu fixed her brother with a straight gaze,

"No…nothing", a weird tension followed her reply, Thomas cleared his throat and began pouring the tea breaking the tension.

"Did you make her work", Enjolras turned a steely gaze on Thomas just as Lulu nosily banged her spoon on the table.

"Leave him alone…what's wrong with you"

"I'm just looking aft-"

"you don't need keep an eye on me every second of the day…it's suffocating" Eponine's eyes fell upon Enjolras clinched fists and she gently laid her hands over it, turning he met the question swirling in concerned brown eyes, _what's going on?, _Enjolras shook his head gently before turning to gaze down at his coffee.

After a little while of awkward stirring Lulu set down her drink and stood up, looking everywhere but her brother.

"I suddenly feel tired…I'm going home", she left a trail of dust behind as she disappeared through the café doors, Enjolras sighed as he pushed back his chair, standing up he gave Eponine an apologetic gaze.

"I have to go…" nodding Eponine watched as his back disappeared through the doors, leaving her and Thomas alone.

"It's getting late…I should get home", standing up Eponine made a move to leave when Thomas blocked her path and confused brown eyes met a nervous hazel swirl of emotion.

"Do you like him", Eponine's heart pounded erratically in heart chest, her skin tingled, her breathing stuttered.

"We're friends", she replied as evenly as her trembling lips would allow.

"Do you like him", Thomas repeated undeterred, Eponine looked away for a second.

"Yes…" Thomas' heart drowned in his aching chest at the final confirmation, wordlessly he staggered pass Eponine disappearing into the kitchen, once more leaning against the wall where Lulu had found him, seconds later he'd sank to the floor.

Eponine remained motionless in the empty café surprised at her own confession, nervous about her own affirmation of feelings she'd been denying from the beginning, _I like him…I like Enjolras _she sighed as she found her feet again and left the café.

The problem with realising your feelings is that you can never act the same way again, so when Enjolras came over the next morning, Eponine was having trouble breathing. Reaching up on tip toes Eponine was struggling to slide a book onto the top shelf, she suddenly felt warmth cover her back and a hand lay across hers gently taking the book and sliding it in.

Inhaling shakily she waited for the lean frame pressed against her to easy away, instead it remained solid whilst warm puffs of air assaulted the back of her neck, making her body a sea of Goosebumps. Slowly Eponine turned to face unwavering blue eyes, her back pressed up against the shelf her trembling hands came to rest on a steady chest.

"Thanks… but can you move back now", Eponine asked gently.

"I don't want to…" came the unhesitant reply as slender fingers began tracing over cool skin of her face, warm brown eyes fluttered to a close lost in the delicate touches, slowly a small trembling hand reached out to stop the slender fingers before dark lashes unfurled to reveal earthy irises.

"what is this….what exactly are we doing", slipping from the face slender fingers rested around a warm neck while the other hand rose and rested on the opposite side, tense blue eyes bore into brown, as Enjolras cuddled Eponine's face in his hands.

"I don't want to be your friend…I don't", the desperation, the intention, the unspoken words Eponine heard them all in Enjolras' voice, she saw them all in his eyes, she felt them all in the depth of her soul and she didn't know how to answer him.

" are you someone who can…no who will stay with me for a long time", a flicker of something like desperate sadness flickered through Enjolras eyes but it was gone and then so were his hands, falling limply to the side as he moved back, eyes downcast.

"That's something...I can't promise", he didn't need to see it Enjolras could feel the disappointment that coursed through that petite body.

"Then until then…we can only be friends", slowly Eponine slipped past a motionless Enjolras getting back to work.

That evening Lulu stood outside her brothers' room listening to the familiar thud of a tennis ball as it hit a battered wall, stumbling back she headed away, anywhere else.

Confusion coloured her delicate features as she found herself standing outside the doors of a familiar café. As he wiped down the last tables Thomas looked up spotting the silhouette of a vaguely familiar figure, heading towards it he opened slowly only to be greeted with distressed blue eyes.

"Lulu…" asked Thomas slowly, there was barely any response "why are you here?" Thomas tried again and was met with a blank stare.

"I don't know…" came a quite reply,

"are you hungry?…" a small smile found its way onto pale lips, as warm blue eyes blinked a thank you for the life line and then a gentle nod of the head, moving aide Thomas opened the door gesturing for Lulu to move inside.

Sitting at the same table, Lulu devoured all the snacks almost choking, Thomas watched concern etched deep into his brow, after she'd finished Lulu leaned back staring at the table silently.

"He throws tennis balls at the wall…" she finally said.

"What…"

"My brother…when he's upset he throws a tennis ball at the wall…. Over and over and over again"

"Did something happen..."

"it must have…he only does it when it's something unbearable, something that he can't fix…like when dad disappeared, or when our mum started drinking and forgetting us…when granddad insults him…or when I…does it even matter, somethings gone wrong", Lulu let out a heart-breaking sigh,

"Maybe it's not that bad…maybe-", the tense gaze in glossy blue eyes stopped him again, a slight shake of the head, a shake that tipped a few tears over the edge.

"It's always bad…its always unbearable...I hate it…I hate it", slowly Lulu lay her head on the table strawberry curls splaying across the surface, eyes closed, tears trembling down pale cheeks.

Things never went back to the same way again, Enjolras returned to the bookshop as often as possible, but he and Eponine couldn't just go back to being friends again, unspoken confessions had been aired and rejected.

Out of the misery a strange and accidental friendship had formed between Thomas and Lulu, she'd come over every other day eat him out of house and home, insult him, make weird jokes, laugh and then go home. That was pretty standard, what troubled him were the faces she made when she thought he couldn't see her, those millisecond expressions of utter disappear and hopelessness. _ You're young, beautiful, funny and rich…why do you hangout in a small café with an old man…why are you so sad Lulu…what happened…what's happening? _But Thomas kept his mouth shut, because he was polite, because it wasn't his place, because he had no right.

And then came the night where everything changed, Lulu's 20th birthday, she'd invited everyone for dinner, grandpa, mom, Enjolras, Eponine and Thomas.

It was an awkward start, Sabine their mother was vaguely sober, the granddad didn't understand why he needed to be there and Enjolras was tense about the whole event.

"Sorry about last time...I wasn't in my right frame of mind", said Sabine dismissively laughing a little "isn't that right sweetie…", Sabine turned to her eldest, Eponine saw Enjolras' whole body go rigid as a toothy smile found its way onto his lips.

"Yes mother", he replied robotically. Lulu cleared her throat.

"Thank you for coming every-"

"It's a pretty shitty turnout…your brother's girlfriend and…who are you", Sabine interrupted turning to Thomas.

"I'm Thomas, Lulu's friend", Sabine laughed her gaze falling on her very tense daughter.

"For god's sake Lulu…I know your times' kind of precious but come on…couldn't you find friends your own age" a glass slammed on the table,

"Christ Sabine…keep your mouth shut", granddad Henri's harsh voice cut across the table, Lulu sat motionless, Enjolras lips twitched his fists tight purple balls, all Eponine and Thomas could do was look around nervously feeling the air turn with something volatile.

"Oh pipe down old man…do you really think anyone in this house cares about what you think" Sabine spat out viciously as she downed her glass,

"Mom…just stop", Enjolras terse voice pleaded,

"Mom is it now…well it's been a while since you called me that", said Sabine with raised eyebrows. A strange pained laugh rose out of the motionless birthday girl, first gentle but then almost manic, and the entire table fell silent watching the shaking shoulders and then it suddenly stopped and icy blue eyes settled on bemused grey eyes.

"Can't you just shut the hell up..." slowly rising to her feet Lulu stared her mother down, Enjolras sighed.

"That's no way to speak you mother..." said Sabine calmly, a mirthless laugh fell from Lulu's lips.

"Why don't you drop dead…" there was few sharp intakes of breath from around the table,

"Lulu", Enjolras said softly standing, lulu's gaze never left her mother.

"Don't interrupt…"

"somehow doubt I'll be the one dropping dead" stated Sabine her dead grey eyes never leaving Lulu.

"All I wanted was to celebrate my birthday with people I care about",

"Celebrate what…surviving another year"

"Mom!" came Enjolras interrupting shout, Lulu's straightened out her face blank and then all hell broke loose.

"Get out…" a low and dangerous voice asked "Out! Everyone out", Lulu screamed her arms sweeping across the table sending plates and glasses to the floor, Thomas, Eponine, and grandpa Henri jumped up as glass and fine china shattered across the mahogany.

"Lulu calm-"", picking up a knife lulu held it to her throat.

"everyone out right now", lulu asked again knife pressing to the hollow of her neck, Enjolras blue eyes widened in horror as he gazed into his little sisters eyes, stumbling back he turned

"everyone out", he said as steadily as his voice would allow when now one moved hi voce rose "out!" he shouted pushing his mum and granddad towards the door, Thomas and Eponine followed hastily, when the living room door shut , Sabine sighed rolling her eyes.

"she's always so dramatic..", she said with a yawn as she turned and headed down the corridor, Enjolras watched her live his blood burning with an aching frustration, grandpa Henry muttered something that sound like 'bunch of nutters" before he too shuffled off.

"Thomas take Eponine home", it wasn't a request, gently Thomas grabbed Eponine's arm and began pulling her away, as she desperately looked to Enjolras not sure where to even start, as Thomas and Eponine disappeared down the corridor Enjolras let out a sigh of relief, leaning against the living room door he closed his eyes and steadied his breathing.

"Lulu…let me in...Please",

**AN: well that escalated quickly, I hope you guys enjoyed it, thanks for reviews they make my day…must finish before GOT…must finish before GOT…must finish before GOT**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Survival

"Lulu…. Please", there was one last plea before Enjolras gently pushed open the door to find his little sister sat amongst the carnage, staring blankly at the knife in her hand. Approaching softly Enjolras kneeled down and gently took the knife, before his warm hands grasped his sister's. And that's all he did for a long while, just hold her frail hands in his while sitting in the carnage beside her.

"I don't think I can go on Enjolras…staying alive is exhausting and I'm…so tired", Enjolras grip tightened.

"You don't have to do it alone…I can carry you Lu…I'm really strong", Lulu's eyes settled on her brothers', noting the utter exhaustion that was hiding behind blind affection and her pale blue eyes welled up.

"idiot…carry me?...you're about ready to collapse…your little sister has ruined you, this family has ruined you…what are we going to do? What..." bitter tears fell down frail cheeks interrupting the words that fell from trembling lips, gently Enjolras pulled Lulu into him holding her close to his heart.

"We're going to survive Lu…we're going to survive", Enjolras repeated over and over and over again, till he'd forcefully carved those words into Lulu's mind.

Two cold cups of coffee and silence was all that was between Thomas and Eponine as they sat in the empty café.

"Surviving another year….I'm not the one who's going to drop dead…. What do you think she meant by that", Eponine asked searching Thomas' unfocused eyes.

"Eponine…" that seemed to be the only word Thomas' brain could conjure.

"Surviving another year….it can't be what I'm thinking right", Eponine asked again, her voice cracking,

"Eponine-", words failed him again,

"It can't be …Lulu's fine…she can't be"

"Dying…" Thomas' quite voice interrupted, Eponine froze her eyes searching resigned hazel swirls.

"Dying…nobody's dying… no nobody's dying…nobody", Eponine said a little erratically as she rose out of her seat and almost ran out of the café. Thomas remained frozen in place, leaning back he closed his eyes, his mind overflowing with images of Lulu. His cruel mind circling one particular picture, a picture of a pained Lulu collapsed on his kitchen floor muttering that the pain will pass, _it'll pass, _yeah right.

After he'd tucked Lulu in, checked on his mother and grandpa Enjolras retired to his study. Collapsing onto his father's chair he drank and drank willing his body to shut down. So that's how Lulu found him in the morning passed out in a grimy chair, in a grimy room and she almost lost it all over again, pulling the bottle from his hand, she covered him in a blanket.

An hour later she took a deep breath as she pushed open the door of the little bookshop finding Eponine at her workstation, looking up the two young women simply gazed at each other.

"Lu-…Lulu", Eponine's voice cracked

"Hey Eponine... can we talk", Lulu asked her trying and failing to keep the pain out of her glossy blue eyes . Closing up Eponine and Lulu headed to Thomas' café, watching from afar Thomas observed the two young woman sitting across from each other in utter silence.

"I am sick Eponine…really sick", Lulu said finally exhaustion evident in her voice. Eponine opened her mouth but nothing came out, "My heart is weak…everyday it gets weaker…my condition is unpredictable I could live for 10 years or 10 days" Lulu paused taking a deep breath,

"Lu- Lulu I don't…I erm.. ", Lulu reached out and took Eponine's hands rubbing them gently.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you…but you know how protective Enjolras can be", at the mention of Enjolras' name, a gazillion emotions passed through Eponine's eyes.

"Is he…is he okay?", a few eager tears tumbled over Lulu's weary lids at that simple but important question.

"No he's falling apart at home…my brother has been living in hell ever since he was born…taking care of everyone… taking on everything….maybe I have no right to ask but will you go see him Eponine?... he needs you" Lulu faltered as the tears overwhelmed her, her frail hands trembling, standing up Eponine came around to sit next to Lulu immediately reaching out and rubbing her back gently before she pulled the her into a hug, closing her eyes Eponine's warm tears fell against Lulu's neck.

"It's not fair...why did this...why is this...it's not fair", Eponine stuttered again and again through her tears, for a long while the young women simply held each other and cried. Pulling back Lulu immediately grabbed Eponine's hands with what little strength she had.

"Will you go see him…will you stay by his side", when no words came back in response Lulu's desperate eyes clung to Eponine's searchingly.

"I will, I'm not going to abandon him, even if he wants me to…I'm not going anywhere", relief washed over Lulu's face, a little colour returning to her pale cheeks.

"Will you go see him now…he needs you", Eponine didn't know what to say

"but-"

"Please-"it was back that same relentless desperation that had silenced Thomas silenced Eponine.

"Okay", Eponine conceded.

"okay", Lulu sighed practically pushing Eponine out of her seat, standing up Eponine gazed down at Lulu one more time before running out, utterly exhausted Lulu lay her head on the table.

The scent of warm soup and cooked meats forced her eyes open as she sat up slowly, to find the table adorned with steaming food, she glanced over the food at Thomas.

"What's this... you normally only give me cold sandwiches and cakes", Lulu asked with her adorable tilt of her head.

"It's your birthday meal... since you didn't get to enjoy it last time…I thought maybe it'd be nice..", Thomas voice trailed off distracted by Lulu's stunned expression, so he could barely react when Lulu stood abruptly walked to his side of the table, sat down and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Thank you Thomas…thank you" letting go almost as abruptly Lulu turned back to the food her eyes sparkling in delight, recovering a small smile found its way onto Thomas' stunned lips.

Running around the maze of a house, it took Eponine a while to find the study, walking into the dimly lit room, her gaze fell upon the pitiful figure slumped across the antique armchair, surrounded by a sea of empty bottles. Shuffling slowly Eponine stood by Enjolras, gently she reached out and ran her hand through his hair, a low grumble fell from his lips as his eyes fluttered open. Blinking he tried to make out the face of the person standing beside him. As his gaze focused and a warm pair of brown eyes became clear he rubbed his eyes sitting up.

"Eponine…what are you doing here", asked a croaky voice, hearing silence Enjolras absorbed the gaze in Eponine's teary eyes.

"you know….", a humourless laugh left his tired lips, taking a step closer Eponine slipped her arms around his shoulder, without hesitation Enjolras tipped his head resting it against Eponine's waist, closing his eyes he took a deep breath as Eponine rubbed his shoulder.

"I know…a little" opening his eyes Enjolras moved his head away and gazed up at Eponine with teary eyes.

"My little sister…my little sister is dying…Eponine", bitter tears rolled down pale cheeks, kneeling Eponine's warm hands cupped the tear-stained cheeks.

"I know…" repeated Eponine her trembling voice tipping tears over long dark lashes.

"Her heart doesn't work…its killing her and there's nothing I can do" each word fell unsteadily and painfully,

"Enjolras…"

"It was supposed to be my problem…it's a hereditary condition…the last gift our dad left before he disappeared, normally it's passed onto the son…but it found its way to Lu-Lulu's heart…", Enjolras voice faltered as his lungs worked overtime to help him breathe,

"Enjolras…"nothing else seemed to fall from Eponine's lips, just his name like a broken record.

"It was supposed to me….it was su- supposed to be me…Eponine…what should I do? I'm scared", and then there were no more words, just tears falling from trembling breathless lips, tugging on his shirt Eponine pulled him into her arms pressing her face into his neck.

"Don't be scared...I'm here, I won't leave you …I won't" pulling back Enjolras gazed into Eponine's eyes questioningly.

"Why…why would you stay?"

"because….I like you a lot…maybe too much" slowly Enjolras began leaning in before pausing about a breath away, his nose gently brushing against hers, Eponine's breath hitched as she gazed into his pale blue eyes.

"you shouldn't like me…it'll only hurt", before Eponine could respond chapped lips were pressing against hers sending waves of unchecked longing through her. And she froze for a second overwhelmed, before her rosy lips began moving against his, tasting his salty tears. Slowly Enjolras arms reached out, possessively wrapping around her tiny waist holding her tightly against him, desperately clinging as his lips devoured hers.

Having devoured Thomas birthday meal Lulu leaned back rubbing her tummy, a satisfied smiled on her face, feeling the burn of Thomas' gaze on her cheek Lulu turned to greet it.

"erm…Is there something you want to say to me?", Thomas gulped.

"How was it?…" Lulu smiled giving him a thumbs up

"Delicious…really" Thomas smiled back looking at his hands he took a deep breath before he met Lulu's gaze again.

"How are you feeling…" it sounded like a simple question but it wasn't, there was too much weighted behind it, Lulu's smile fell away as she gazed at Thomas.

"Honestly pretty terrible…I'm scared Thomas…I'm scared", came the quiet broken reply, with her head tragically lowered Lulu didn't see Thomas lean in arms reaching out to pull her into a bone crushing hug, startled her hands flailed at her side as Thomas held her, calming a little she tentatively reached around grasping the back of his shirt.

"I'm here…there's nothing to be sacred off…I'm here Lulu", as his comforting words wormed their way into her soul, Lulu inhaled Thomas' scent, a mixture of sugar, flowers and musk. Closing her eyes she sighed, that's when she noticed that her heart was beating abnormally and it had nothing to do with her condition.

**AN: well this turned out nothing like what I had planned, oh well as long you guys are enjoying it, thank you for the reviews and follows its supper sweet to know that you like it,…must finish before game of thrones…don't think its going to happen**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Revelations

Pulling back Enjolras gazed into Eponine eyes trying to calm his erratic heartbeat.

"How was that…?" Enjolras asked nervously, Eponine tilted her head in thought,

"Pretty disgusting actually…." She replied casually, her eyes sparkling with pixyish mischief as Enjolras' jaw dropped to the floor.

"What…" spluttered Enjolras watching as the sides of Eponine's face crinkled in amusement.

"You taste like stale beef…and wine", Eponine said slowly as she made a show of licking her teeth, Enjolras brought his hands to his face breathing out, he inhaled and pulled back in slight disgust, the grimace on his face finally broke Eponine and she began to laugh.

"Christ…that's not nice", Enjolras stated solemnly observing Eponine's hysterics with mild bemusement, a few seconds later his expression began to mirror hers as he also started laugh.

"Nope not at all…why don't you freshen up, there's something I have to show you…I'll be waiting in the living room" Eponine said standing up Enjolras followed.

"I'll be back soon", he said slowly, Eponine smiled,

"I'll be waiting", warm fingers gripped onto Eponine's shoulder pressing against soft fabric, while the tips of slender fingers grazed her exposed collarbone, the comforting weight remained for a while before it was gone with its owner.

Sitting in a now clean living room Eponine's dainty fingers traced over her lips and smiled at the memory, honestly her heart still hadn't slowed down. 20 minutes later, a refreshed and clean Enjolras emerged, he didn't know why he felt so relieved to find Eponine still waiting, a part of him must have thought he'd dreamt her up.

"Do you have a car…" Eponine asked standing, Enjolras nodded,

"Yes…why", Eponine smiled

"There's somewhere we need to go", and that's how Enjolras found himself driving out of the city, every now he'd glance at Eponine worriedly, her expression had both saddened and darkened.

They ended up on a beach in a small sea-side town, standing side by side Enjolras watched Eponine watch the waves in silence.

"This is where we scattered the ashes of my almost mum…"

"Eponine…"

"It's also where my adoptive father is now scattered", Enjolras inhaled sharply, turning to gaze at the side of Eponine's face,

"What…what", Eponine turned to meet his shocked gaze with her teary eyes,

"It's been about 4…no 5 months since he…died", Enjolras mouth opened and closed but nothing came out,

"How…" he finally managed to choke out

"He contracted bovine TB…on one of his travels…he didn't tell me right tell right till the end", a mirthless laugh left her lips.

"Eponine…"

"I left his hospital room for a second to pick up some flowers…and he left", bitter tears cascaded over the edge of dark lashes,

"Why didn't you say anything…?"

"If I say it…." Eponine stopped as the stream of tears became a violent waterfall "if I say it…it makes it real", Enjolras grasped her shoulders.

"All this time…you've been keeping it…how could...", Enjolras words disappeared back down his throat,

"I was abandoned again…another person left without saying goodbye…and I couldn't accept it ", Eponine's trembling fingers rose and rested across Enjolras chest "the pain of losing someone, that fear…I understand it Enjolras… I get it", the tears just kept flowing as Eponine's words trembled out of her mouth.

"So when I tell you not to be scared… when I say that I understand and that I won't leave you….I mean it",

"I believe you..." Enjolras whispered raising slender fingers to wipe away bitter tears, Eponine grabbed his hand.

"Then can you promise that you won't leave me...without saying goodbye at least", Enjolras pulled Eponine into his arms holding her shivering body close,

"I can't promise I won't leave you… but I promise to say goodbye…at least ", not just tears but choking sobs fell from Eponine's mouth at Enjolras words, words that she was far too tired to ask about.

But when the tears had finally stopped flowing, and the aching sobs had ceased, Enjolras and Eponine sat side by side on the beach, staring out to sea.

"Why couldn't you promise…that you wouldn't leave", Eponine asked the sea Enjolras turned his weary gaze burning a hole in her cheek.

"I told you that Lulu's condition was hereditary…but just because I don't have it now doesn't mean I won't develop it later…I have to get tested every few years… and I can't promise that the results will be clear every time", turning Eponine finally met his gaze,

"You're all I have left…what am I supposed to do if you leave", fresh tears fell from exhausted eyes, Enjolras' trembling fingers rested against wet cheeks soothingly pulling her towards him, so close that her lashes brushed against his nose, but still it wasn't close enough.

"you're going to survive Eponine…" cool lips pressed against rosy ones, swallowing a million tiny gasps of pain, pulling back Enjolras rested his forehead against Eponine's ,

"I don't think I can… so let's hope I never have to find out", Eponine whispered eyes closed,

Lulu stood with her back to the café, the beating of her heart still uncontrollable, gazing at her arms, slender fingers nervously traced over the Goosebumps scattered across them and a heavy sigh fell from her lips. _You picked a hell of a time to develop a crush Lu._

The drive back to the city was spent in a companionable silence. Once back at the house Eponine and Enjolras sat back to back in the garden eyes closed breathing heavily, just taking a moment.

Thomas frowned as he watched Lulu's frozen frame outside his café once again, _is she okay, is she in pain, why has she stopped…_unable to take it any longer, he ventured outside reaching out he grasped Lulu's wrist gently turning her around.

"are you okay Lulu?", Lulu's mouth opened and closed as she gazed into those pretty hazel swirls, slowly her gaze fell to where Thomas was holding her,

"Lulu..." even the way he said her name was warm and pretty, his voice flowing like a soft stream, drowning her in its welcoming warmth, fear clouded pale blue eyes as they rose to greet warm hazel eyes once again. Gently Lulu pulled her hand out of Thomas' grasp.

"You're a nice person aren't you Thomas?", she said slowly.

"What…."

"One of those people whose nice to everyone" Thomas searched Lulu's eyes unsure as to what exactly she was going on about.

"Lulu I don-"

"I wish you weren't", turning abruptly Lulu walked away leaving a stunned and confused Thomas behind.

"Your mum…why is she…why?" Enjolras' eyes fluttered opened as he leaned further back against Eponine.

"10 years that's how long she spent trying to make dad part of the family…when she was 21 she was engaged to the police commissioners son…but she fell in love with his driver" ,Eponine sat up intrigued, sighing Enjolras turned just as Eponine did, now face to face he reached out taking Eponine's hand and holding it preciously in his lap.

"What happened…?"

"it caused a lot of problems, how could an heiress dare to fall in love with a chauffeurs son…grandpa wouldn't have it the police commissioner and his son wouldn't have it...society wouldn't have it…so she eloped…I was born into abject poverty in some industrial town…but mom survived because she had dad and back then that was all that mattered, but when she fell pregnant with Lulu it was too much so she came back home…" Enjolras took a steading breath,

"How did your granddad's take it?", Eponine felt Enjolras grip round her hand tighten.

"he was surprisingly nice about it at first… I think he was relieved he didn't have to be alone anymore…and for a few years everything was fine…but I think granddad got bored of being nice because he started bullying dad, belittling, humiliating, chipping away at him…mum and dad fought about it every day. Dad wanted to leave…with what money mum would always shout back", a humourless laugh fell from Enjolras' lips, this time it was Eponine who tightened her grip.

"It sounds awful", was all she could think to say it that solemn silence,

"It was…because it got worse because Lulu got sick. We took her to the hospital and she was diagnosed, both mum and dad got tested…it turned out to be dad's genes…the fighting got worse…in her despair mum blamed dad, she said some hurtful things… You've killing my baby she'd mutter over and over again…"

"That must have hurt him"

"It did ….mum was laying into him, grandpa was even worse…so one day he just got up and left", Eponine squeezed Enjolras hand again he smiled sadly.

"no goodbye then…"

"No ...he left a parting note… I must've read it every day for 3 years straight...erhu erhrm", Enjolras cleared his throat,

"I remember the day you walked into my life…I thought I'll never ever be able get over you…but I didn't have to… so we ran a long exhausting painful race towards each other. And we met beautifully…over time we've hurt each other deeply but we always got back together…I can't help thinking that I shouldn't have walked back towards you….I shouldn't have let someone like you come into a useless guy like me's life…and now I'm living the consequences of that selfishness…I regret it our love, our life together….I regret everything.." Enjolras drifted off as if reliving some horrible memory, tugging on his arm gently Eponine brought him back.

"I regret everything… that was a harsh way to end it", Enjolras let out another bitter laugh.

"I think it's one of my family's specialities…ending things harshly", Eponine's chest suddenly felt heavy with all the dark meanings that, that sentence encapsulated. An eerie silence followed, one that was amply broken my Eponine's tummy rumbling loudly, startling them both. A millisecond later Enjolras burst out laughing as Eponine's face flushed with embarrassment.

"We'll that's certainly one way to change the subject..." Enjolras said with another laugh as he tugged Eponine to her feet.

"Sorry…The timing of that, was a bit..." Eponine drifted off as Enjolras ruffled her hair,

"No…it was perfect…I feel good…you make me feel good", pulling he closer Enjolras gently stroked the side of the face "let's go..." without warning he began running pulling a startled Eponine with him. Back in the house a breathless Enjolras leaned against the living room table laughing as Eponine glared at him.

"Christ..", she said out of breath " a little warning next time…", she said slipping into a chair, leaning down Enjolras pressed his lips to Eponine's cheek, before pulling back to enjoy her wide brown eyes.

"Sorry...I'll get you something to drink...wait here", before Eponine could respond he was gone again, slowly she traced her now very red cheek.

Her reflective solitude was interrupted by the clacking of heels which brought Sabine around the corner, spotting Eponine she cocked her head with cool amusement as she slowly sat down across from her, tapping her long nails against the mahogany.

"You're back…the women whose in love with my possibly diseased son", Sabine said causally Eponine's lips twitched "it looks like you have something to say…go head I'm not easily hurt",

"Do you love your children...?"

"How boring…I thought you had something interesting", Sabine mock yawned,

"What are you?"

"What do you think I am?"

"A woman who values the love of a man over her own children", Sabine laughed,

"So what… you really think all mothers love their children,", leaning on her bony elbows Sabine fixed Eponine with a mocking gaze.

"So what?.." Eponine repeated her eyes darkening "You're the kind of woman I hate most"

"What kind is that?" Sabine asked with an almost feverish morose excitement ,

"The kind that uses love to excuse her behaviour…the kind that says I did it because I loved…my tragic love ended so I'm allowed to do what I want…say what I want...act... as crazy as I want", rising slowly Eponine approached with measured steps, Sabine watched her with tense amusement, unflinching even as Eponine leaned down invading her personal space, her hands coming to rest on either side of Sabine's chair, her normally warm brown eyes icy cold.

"What's so bad about doing things out of love...?" Sabine said meeting Eponine's steely gaze,

"Was your love really that amazing…enough to make a father abandon his two sick children…enough to make their mother's love bitter and destructive…is your love really more important than the lives of the two people you brought into this world…is it?", Eponine's fingers dug into the chair her face a breath away from Sabine's unwavering grey eyes, only the slight twitch of a lip confirmed that something had been struck.

**AN: well seriously thanks for your kind reviews, they seriously make my day, this story has morphed into something I didn't expect anyway onwards and upwards I hope…**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: kill me, save me

An unnerving silence filled the air as harsh grey eyes tore at the steady brown gaze, and then a low cruel laugh began, which stopped abruptly as Sabine slowly rose forcing Eponine back.

"I was a woman before I was a mother", were the simple but honest words which fell from Sabine's mouth.

"That might true but… it doesn't change the fact that you'll die as a mother", Eponine's words lay heavily across Sabine's fair lashes as they closed over her cool grey eyes. When they unfurled again a renewed venom swirled within those irises, a venom which seemed to seep deep into her veins and she aggressively shoved Eponine back pinning her against the wall her elbow by her neck.

"you're right, I'm a mother… so as mother I tell you straight…you're not good enough for my son" a knowing smile graced Sabine's lips and she leaned even closer tell her lips were practically gazing Eponine's ear "if it came down to it, who do you think he'll choose his mother…or his orphan flavour of the month", leaning back Sabine watched as the side of Eponine's mouth twitched, as her lashes trembled and then she too was being shoved back.

"choose…", it was Eponine's turn to laugh mirthlessly "you really are crazy…", frustrated tears rose to the surface of Eponine's eyes but remained unfallen "I'm an orphan…I've lived most of my life as an orphan so more than anyone I know the pain of not having parents…I've felt that pain three times…each time more unbearable than the last…that you think I would even think about inflicting that kind of pain on Enjolras, on someone I lo- like is probably the most offensive thing you'll ever be able to say to me", as she watched the shaking girl stringently holding in her tears Sabine smiled.

Unwilling to let Sabine see her completely fall apart Eponine pushed past, ending up in a long corridor her fast walk quickly morphing into a run, a run which came to an abrupt end when she smashed into a solid figure, a figure who grabbed her arm gently,

"Christ…easy", Enjolras jested smiling, a smile that froze on his face when Eponine's head slowly rose and he was confronted with teary and tired eyes. "What happened…Eponine….what happened to you?", sighing Eponine shook her head as she tried to find the words.

"I feel like a walk…lets go for a walk", although a small smile managed to shiver onto her lips her big brown eyes were still tainted with teary despair. Enjolras opened his mouth to ask more, but the gaze in Eponine's eyes stopped him instead he slipped his hand down her arm till it found her dainty fingers. Giving her cool hands a gentle squeeze, he wordlessly pulled her towards the exit.

As the cool breeze hit their faces Enjolras' hand slipped from Eponine's fingers, kneeling he once again offered her his back.

"Get on…I'll carry you", Eponine's brows furrowed in confusion as she stared down at Enjolras' comforting back.

"I'm not hurt..." she said quietly after a short pause,

"You are…you're hurt…I won't ask again Eponine…get on", hesitantly Eponine draped herself across Enjolras' back wrapping her arms round his neck, and as he stood locking her feet tightly again and good thing too because Enjolras suddenly broke into a run. Eponine yelped tightening her grip as she bounced up and down.

"stop!...En-Enjolras!...stop" after a few feet more, he did finally stop, Eponine immediately slipped off a little unsteadily, and as he turned around a big grin was plastered across his face. Which only grew wider as he took in Eponine's wild hair, wild eyes, and red cheeks, seeing the satisfaction on his face Eponine punched his arm hard, he rubbed it still smiling.

"You crazy…bastard", Eponine said as she smoothed down her hair, Enjolras' grin mellowed into a gentle smile as he reached out and replaced his hands with hers,

"do you feel better now…" as Enjolras' gentle fingers stroked through her hair, calming her erratic heartbeat and easing the discomfort in her chest, she realized that she did in fact feel better, much better. And when her eyes locked onto his warm blue gaze she found herself a little overwhelmed by the affection swirling there, so she rushed forward and wrapped her arms round his waist pressing her face to his chest.

"I feel better…I feel better", she said quietly smiling into his chest.

"You guys make feel sick", Enjolras and Eponine separated swiftly at the sound of a familiar voice, turning they smiled as they took in the look of mock disgust etched into Lulu's face.

"Lu...you're back", warmth and affection coloured every word that fell from Enjolras' lips.

"Don't mind me…I'm heading in" Lulu said waving her hand dismissively,

"Actually its getting late…I should go home" Eponine said turning to Enjolras,

"I'll take you-"

"no-…I want to go alone", Enjolras frowned worried by the quick response but when he gazed into warm tired eyes, he understood.

"Okay…" Enjolras said with a sigh.

"Okay..." repeated Eponine as she turned and smiled at Lulu "see you around Lulu "and then she was heading towards the large gate.

"Where did you go…", although his tone was casual Lulu could her the interrogation lurking under the surface.

"I was at Thomas' café…" Enjolras frowning blues eyes found his sisters.

"You've been spending a lot of time there..."Lulu scoffed

"So…"

"So aren't you worried he'll get the wrong idea…"

"What idea is that…" Enjolras sighed looking away for a moment

"That you like him…"

"I do….", there was no hesitation in her response so Enjolras searched for it in her eyes hoping to see a lie, a jokey playfulness swirling in his sisters pale blue eyes, but they were deadly serious.

"Lu…you can't like him"

"Why can't I…because I'm dying", ignoring the flicker of despair that passed through Enjolras' eyes, Lulu kept her gaze steady.

"That's not what I meant…it's just he's too old…and he's not good enough for you… you deserve better Lu…"Enjolras' voice drifted off as a darkness seeped into Lulu's eyes.

"You sound just like mum…not good enough?...not good enough?" Lulu scoffed rubbing her forehead clearly agitated "I'm dying, Enjolras…. I'm the one not good enough for him not the other way around...what man would want a woman whose body was wasting away...what man?"

"Lu-"

"But don't worry big bro nothing will happen…firstly he's in love with someone else…secondly I'd never confess, he's the kind of fool who'd love me out of pity… the kind of fool who'd pretend just to make me happy…and I don't want that… So don't worry I plan on leaving this world with as few casualties as possible", Enjolras grabbed Lulu's arms, his grip unnecessarily firm almost painful,

"why do you that…talk as if you're already on your death bed…why are you in such a hurry to die…you're fine Lu…you'll be fine…why do you-"

"I've come to terms with the fact that I won't get better…maybe it's time you do", Enjolras grip loosened till his hands had completely slipped off Lulu's arms, sighing she walked past heading towards the house, leaving him alone on the lawn.

When Lulu entered the house she found her mother drinking in the dining room and as their eyes made contact, Sabine smiled while Lulu's face remained emotionless.

"Well if it isn't the dying daughter…"

"Go to hell..." Sabine laughed,

"Just stating the facts…you are dying Lu", Lulu approached slowly pulling up a chair she stared at her mother.

"I don't want to be dying…I wish I was already dead mum…so that I wouldn't have to see your face… or grandpa's... or Enjolras sad eyes, or the warm eyes of the person I like…I want to die right now…and be at peace mum… so would you do it if I asked you ….would you kill me mum?", a deadly silence fell over the living room,

"if you want to die… do it alone", Sabine said calmly and as Lulu absorbed her words she smiled nodding as she stood,

"You're right…that would be best…alone", turning she drifted away through the big doors into the long and dark corridor.

Once she'd gone Sabine's hand began shaking as she reached for her wine glass taking a large gulp, she tried to calm the erratic beating of her heart, five years, it'd been five years since Lulu had called her mum, it was also the first time in a long time where she asked her for something, the first time it wasn't words of anger frustration and disappointment aimed at her. Pushing the glass away Sabine drank straight from the bottle.

There was nothing Enjolras hated more than upsetting his little sister, of going to bed angry, mad and hurt at each other. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door and waited for her small sweet face to appear, but nothing happened, he knocked again and again finally he leaned against the door.

"Lu…I know you're mad but we have to talk… Open up", nothing, sighing again he gripped the door handle "I'm coming in, I hope you're decent", pushing the door open it took Enjolras' eyes a few seconds to adjust to the dim lightening and as they did, they fell across the silhouette of his sister laying on the bed, asleep. Sighing he approached cautiously only stopping when he heard a crunch under his feet, gazing down his eyes took in all the tiny pills scattered across the floor, frowning he followed the trail which lead to the bedside table, where a tiny white bottle was tipped on its side, white pills dripping from the mouth. Slowly his eyes moved back to Lulu, finally noticing the undignified way her arm hung off the side of the bed.

And he stopped breathing.

**AN: sorry this took a while, I'm in the middle of my end of term essays…but I will try and update as soon as I can, anyway thanks for the reviews, favourites and views, I appreciate it, hope this wasn't too dark..**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: shattered

It was two in the morning when the ringing started forcing tired brown eyes to flutter open, and a small groan to escape dry lips as Eponine rolled away. It took a further 10 minutes before the bones in her body finally unclasped and she was able to pick up. However It took mere seconds for the frantic panicked ramblings tumbling through the line to wake her hazy brain.

"Enjolras…slow down and tell me what's wrong", as the panicked gibberish gave way to a slow pained explanation Eponine almost crushed her phone with her tightening grip. When the explanation finally gave way to an eerie silence "I'm coming" was all Eponine could say, falling out of bed Eponine almost broke her leg in attempt to get dressed, stumbling and running she found herself outside Thomas' café.

Banging on the door she shouted his name, "Thomas! Thomas! I need you …Thomas open up!" pounding with one hand she rang him with the other, Thomas' response was quicker than hers

"Eponine…", he said tiredly into the phone sitting up.

"Open up Thomas…"he could almost hear the tears in her words, quickly slipping into his jeans and shirt Thomas rushed down stairs, yanking open the door he came face to face with a fatigued and teary Eponine.

"Eponine…what's going on", a pained silence echoed around the empty street as Eponine tried to hold herself together.

"I need you to drive me to the hospital…right now", Thomas frowned his mouth opened in inquiry but shut immediately silenced by the Urgency in Eponine's eyes. Five minutes later they were speeding along the narrow streets in Thomas' rackety second-hand Honda.

"Who's hurt…Eponine", Thomas finally asked, gazing out of the window Eponine didn't even break breath when she answered.

"Lulu…" Thomas' grip tightened around the steering wheel as he kept his gazed fixed on the road.

"What happened?"

"She tried to kill herself", as soon as those words left her mouth the atmosphere in the car changed, saying them finally made it real for the passenger and hearing them awakened a dark memory for the driver. They arrived at the hospital in silence, Eponine tumbled out of the car running into the hospital leaving Thomas to follow with heavy steps.

When Eponine found Enjolras he was slumped over in cold steel hospital seats hands buried in his head, sad and alone. So she approached softly and lay her shaking hands on his shoulders, a shaky breath fell from hidden lips at the touch, slowly Enjolras arms fell away as he sat up craning his head, he stared up with weary eyes, with a small smile Eponine noticed how his beautiful blue irises were now completely overshadowed with a pain.

No words fell from either lips, slowly Enjolras arms rose and tightly wrapped around Eponine's waist as he gently rested his head against her hip and closed his eyes.

All Thomas could do was watch awkwardly from the side unsure of where to look or how to feel, they were all interrupted by the entrance of a psychiatric nurse.

"The doctor would like to talk to you about your sister in his office", said the nurse, Enjolras eyes dotted over to Eponine.

"I'll come with you", Eponine spoke gently answering the silent question in his eyes "Thomas ...will you stay here", Eponine asked gently Thomas simply nodded. As he watched them despair around the corner Thomas settled down outside Lulu's room, sitting absolutely still. Until the sound of frantic shuffling and cluttering found its ways to his ears. Standing up he gently slid the door in time to see Lulu rip the IV out of an arm, running he grabbed her shoulders.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!", there was an edge to Thomas' normal warm voice that made Lulu's empty deflated eyes rise to, meet his gaze.

"I failed…", Thomas lips twitched,

"What…" a tremble rose in the unfamiliar voice.

"I was so close…" Lulu said looking away, Thomas shook her shoulders regaining her wild gaze

"Who gave you permission..." a cold and low voice that wasn't Thomas asked Lulu.

"Permission?" a small laugh fell from her lips "why do I need permission?"

"Because your life isn't yours to take"

"What?…are you jok-"

"Do I look like I'm joking", Thomas cut in curtly his hazel eyes flashing with rage,

"What's wrong with you…"taking a shaky breath Thomas arms fell away from Lulu as he stepped into her personal space, his face barely an eyelash distance away, so close that Lulu got a real good look at the cool festering anger that was settling behind deceptively empty eyes.

"If you really want to die…disappear first… go off to some godforsaken wilderness where no one knows you… and end it there…" the coldness in Thomas' voice seeped into Lulu's skin making her shiver but she didn't move away or say anything "why?... does that sound cruel?…" Thomas scoffed,

"Thomas…" was all Lulu could say, her face pinched with confusion.

"or maybe you're just a selfish person…the kind that wants to make a show of dying…is that why you did it at home… did you hope that your brother would find your lifeless body…is that it…are you the kind of person that wants to destroy and scar the lives of those who love them…is that who you are Lulu… the kind of person who wants to die in peace leaving everyone else in hell…is that the kind of selfish bitch you are?", a dangerous stillness filled the air, as cold unrecognisable hazel eyes bore into the blue abyss.

"Why-who do you think you are?", Lulu managed to stutter , Thomas smiled coolly reaching out he stroked the side of Lulu's hair before his hand slipped lower and wrapped around her dainty neck feeling the pulse against his fingertips, his calm hazel eyes found the blue chaos.

"listen carefully Lulu…if you had really want to die", Thomas fingers tightened stealing away some of her oxygen, "you'd already be dead", the fingers tensed further as Lulu's eyes became wide desperately holding onto to the cool hazel glare. There was only a breath of oxygen entering her body when Thomas finally released and she stumbled back spluttering, with slight tilt Thomas watched as she regained her breath staring at him all the while. Silently he turned sliding the door open and calmly stepped out sliding the door shut behind him.

When Enjolras and Eponine returned to the room they found it empty. All the air left Enjolras' lungs, in a panic he forgot how to breath so that feverish eyes accompanied by wild gesticulating arms were all Eponine could see.

"Ep-…" choking Enjolras cleared his throat "Ep-eponine…where?…where?", grabbing his shoulders Eponine dug her fingers deep, almost painfully trying to distract him from his oncoming panic attack.

"Calm down…we'll find her"

"you don't think she's gone up….", Enjolras didn't need to finish, Eponine knew exactly where he meant, three minutes layer sweating and utterly breathless Eponine and Enjolras stumbled onto the roof, running around the empty space.

"she's not here…I'll call Thomas", shaking hands dialled and waited, the sound of a voicemail was all that answered the silence, Eponine pulled the phone away to meet a man whose resolve was on the verge of absolute collapse.

"Where is my sister…Eponine…where is she?" Enjolras voice trembled as he stepped forward tears tumbling freely from withered eyes. Looking away Eponine bit her lips and sighed trying to settle her nerves.

"I don't know…I don't know"

On the other side of town, Thomas sat on the front steps of the café staring at his feet, trying to force down images from a past he'd long buried. But then the empty concrete in front of him was filled with two bare feet, his head snapped up to find pale blue eyes staring at him standing up his eyes trailed over the oversized coat, barely covering a hospital gown that barley clung to a small shivering frame.

"Why is it selfish…wanting to die?" a quite unsteady voice seemed to ask the cool night air.

"Wanting to die isn't selfish…but thinking you're doing it for other people's sake is", Lulu reached out her smell fingers twisting in Thomas shirt.

"Since I'm going to die anyway… shouldn't I do it now...that way they can get over it quicker", grabbing the small wrist clumped in his shirt Thomas threw it off.

"That's the same kind of stupid logic that people who want happy funerals use"

"I don't understand what you mean…" silently Thomas stepped into Lulu's personal space.

"when you die naturally, its fine because it happens all the time…but when you kill yourself, do you know what those left behind think…it's my fault…it's my fault ….I didn't love hard enough…I didn't do enough…I wasn't enough… and that guilt never goes away it seeps into every cell in your body eating away at you until the day you die…and the dead won't know anything because, it's those left behind that feel the pain…in the same way people who want happy funeral are idiots…, because those left will cry and mourn you… because they loved you and now miss you…" warm tears tumbled from pale blue eyes.

"Then…then what am I supposed to do?", Lulu chocked grabbing Thomas shirt with both hands "what should I do…Thomas" desperate words fell in between desperate tears, "what…what...should I do", in an almost trance Lulu kept repeating the same words over and over again, only interrupted by breathless and choking sobs that eventually drained all the energy from her body, leaving her to

slip to the ground clambering by Thomas' feet, kneeling Thomas gently pulled Lulu into his arms letting her warm tears stain his shirt.

"Don't die before your time Lulu…that's all you can do".

**AN: It's been awhile, sorry, things have been a bit hectic, but I will finish this even if it takes me a lot longer than I first anticipated, anyway I hope you guys enjoy this chapter **


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